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真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示(胡文浩 紫微蕾塔小德兰译 王保禄 杨开勇校阅)列表
·000.中译本序言
·000.真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示
·002.艾曼丽修女的生活和启示 第二
·004.真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示第
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·真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示下卷
·真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示下卷
·下卷第一章01 教会的属灵工作和苦
·下卷第一章02 知道他人的想法
·下卷第一章03 纠正和抗争朝圣者在
·下卷第二章01 艾曼丽修女在婚房里
·下卷第二章02 教会礼仪年的结束
·下卷第二章03 耶稣去世的真正周年
·下卷第三章01 因他人对至圣圣事的
·下卷第三章02 因他人对至圣圣事的
·下卷第三章03 因他人对至圣圣事的
·下卷第三章04 因他人对至圣圣事的
·下卷第四章01 炼狱中的灵魂—众天
·下卷第四章02 炼狱中的灵魂—众天
·下卷第四章03 炼狱中的灵魂—众天
·下卷第五章01 为教宗庇护七世、为
·下卷第五章02 为教宗庇护七世、为
·下卷第五章03 为教宗庇护七世、为
·下卷第五章04 为教宗庇护七世、为
·下卷第六章01 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章02 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章03 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章04 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章05 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章06 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章07 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章08 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章09 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章10 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章11 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章12 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章13 艾曼丽修女识别圣髑
·下卷第六章14 天堂乐园一瞥
·下卷第七章01 我们救主的生平—朝
·下卷第七章02 预示艾曼丽修女去世
·下卷第七章03 预示艾曼丽修女去世
·下卷第七章04 预示艾曼丽修女去世
·下卷第七章05 预示艾曼丽修女去世
·下卷第八章01 为受诱惑的灵魂、苦
·下卷第八章02 为受诱惑的灵魂、苦
·下卷第八章03 为受诱惑的灵魂、苦
·下卷第八章04 为受诱惑的灵魂、苦
·下卷第八章05 为受诱惑的灵魂、苦
·下卷第八章06 为受诱惑的灵魂、苦
·下卷第九章01 艾曼丽修女的最后的
·下卷第九章02 艾曼丽修女的最后的
「我的民因无知识而灭亡。你弃掉知识,我也必弃掉你,使你不再给我作祭司。」
015.真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示第12章 安纳·加大利纳的初学期
015.真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示第12章 安纳·加大利纳的初学期
浏览次数:1428 更新时间:2022-4-7
 
 
CHAPTER XII.

第十二章

 

Anne Catherine's Novitiate.

安纳·加大利纳的初学

 

Anne Catherine passed her first months in the convent as a postulant in the secular dress, she and Clara Soentgen occupying the same cell.

安纳·加大利纳在修道院度过了她的第一个月,作为一名试修生,她穿着在俗的衣服,她和克拉拉·索恩根居于同一间小屋。

 

She had no security of being permitted to remain in the community, but God gave her during this time strength sufficient to render herself useful.

她没有被允许留在修会团体的保证,但在这段时间里,天主给了她足够的力量,使自己变得有用。

 

She earned, besides, by her needle sufficient to supply her few necessities and to defray the expense of her reception to the habit.

此外,她做针线还挣了一笔钱,足以供给她的少数必需品,并支付她的会衣的费用。

 

She thus escaped being sent away under the plea of uselessness, and on Nov. 13, 1802, she was clothed with the habit of the Order and formally admitted to the novitiate.

因此,她躲过了以无用为借口而被遣送走的命运,18021113日,她穿上了修会的会衣,初学院正式接纳为初学修女


The worst cell in the house was assigned her.

会院里最差的小屋分配给了她。

 

It had two chairs, one without a back, the other minus a seat ; the window-sill served as a table.

里面有两把椅子,一把没有靠背,另一把没有座;窗台当桌子用。

 

"But," she declared years after, "that poor cell of mine appeared to me so well furnished, so grand, that it was to me a perfect heaven !"

可是,多年以后,她说,我那间可怜的小屋,在我看来,布置得那么好,布置得那么美妙,在我看来,简直是一个完美的天堂!

 

We can readily imagine what the spiritual training of novices would be in a community in which the exercises employed in happier times for this end had fallen into disuse.

我们可以很容易地想象,在一个修会团体里,初学者的神操将会是什么,在这个团体里,为这一目的而进行的更快乐的训练已经被废弃了。

 

Anne Catherine sighed for the humiliation and obedience prescribed by the Rule, but there was no one to impose them.

安纳·加大利纳为会规规定的谦卑和服从而赞叹,但这里没有人强迫她们这样做。

 

She knew that the humility that springs from obedience is infinitely more efficacious and meritorious than self-imposed penance.

她知道,从服从中产生的谦卑远比自愿做的赎罪善功更有效、更有功德

 

But such occasions of meriting would never have been hers had not her Divine Betrothed intervened as Master to conduct His pupil to the highest perfection, and this He did precisely by those very circumstances which seemed so unfavorable to spiritual progress.

但是,如果不是她神圣的净配以教师的身份介入,把祂的学生带到最完美的境界,她决不会有这种值得称赞的机会,而祂正是在那些似乎不利于灵性进步的情况下这样做的。

 

Everything was to be a means of attaining this end and, in the same measure, a means of advancing the glory of God and the good of His Church.

每一件事都是达到这一目的的一种手段,同样,也是促进天主的荣耀和祂的教会的利益的一种手段。

 

A prudent mistress, one experienced in the spiritual life, would soon have discovered her novice's sublime vocation and would have directed her in accordance with it, tolerating in her no imperfection, no defect.

一个精明的女教师,一个在灵性生活上有经验的人,很快就会发现她的初学者的崇高的圣召,就会按照这个天职指导她,不容忍她的任何缺点,任何缺陷。

 

Anne Catherine was naturally hasty. She had a keen sense of injustice, and resented it accordingly ; but to the mortification of these dispositions she could not attain without proper direction.

安纳·加大利纳天生性急。她对不公正有一种敏锐的感觉,并因此而憎恶;但是,如果没有适当的指导,她是不可能达到这些性情的克制的。

 

Almighty God, however, furnished the occasions for self-victory in these very points.

然而,全能的天主在这些方面提供了战胜自我的机会。

 

From the beginning of her novitiate, He permitted her to be unjustly suspected, accused, reprimanded, and penanced all which she bore without murmur, excuse, or reply.

从她开始她在修会的初学期,祂就允许她受到不公正的怀疑、指控、训斥和以苦行赎罪,她所忍受的一切,她都没有抱怨,没有借口也没有辩解

 

We shall cite one instance among many of the kind.

我们将举出许多这样的例子中的一个。

 

The convent possessed but a Blender revenue from its lands ; and in order to increase its funds, it boarded for a trifling sum a few poor French nuns, emigrees, and an old gentleman, the brother of the Superioress.

修道院从土地上获得的收入只有一笔;为了增加经费,它用很少的钱,为几个穷苦的法国修女、移民和一个老绅士,也就是女院长的兄弟,提供膳食和住宿。

 

The nuns, learning by chance that the old gentleman paid less than they, grew dissatisfied and accused the Superioress of injustice.

修女们偶然发现那位老绅士付的钱比她们少,就不满起来,指责女院长不公正。

 

Then the question arose as to how the nuns had come by this information.

然后问题就来了,修女们是怎么得到这个信息的。

 

No Sister, of course, acknowledged herself guilty, and so the blame fell on the unfortunate novice, who was known to take a lively interest in the destitute religious banished on account of their profession.

当然,没有一个修女承认自己有罪,因此,指责落在这个不幸的初学修女身上。大家都知道,这个初学修女对一个因其职业而被驱逐的赤贫的修道者非常感兴趣。

 

Anne Catherine could say most truthfully that she knew not what either party paid and, consequently, she had nothing to reveal on the subject.

安纳·加大利纳可以非常诚实地说,她不知道任何一方付了多少钱,因此,在这个问题上她没有什么可以透露的。

 

But this was of little moment in the estimation of her accusers.

但是在那些控告她的人看来,这是无关紧要的。

 

She was reprimanded by the Superioress in full Chapter and she underwent the penance imposed.

她受到了女院长训斥了整整一顿,并接受了施加的赎罪苦行

 

At once there arose loud complaints in the community against the galling ingratitude, as they styled it, of this miserable peasant-girl.

修女们立刻大声抱怨起们所谓的这个可怜的农家姑娘的忘恩负义。

 

The innocent victim of all this clamor had to bear not only unjust suspicion and severe punishment, but she endured also the bitterness of having been, although involuntarily, the cause of such uncharitableness.

所有这些吵闹声的无辜受害者不仅要承受不公正的怀疑和严厉的惩罚,而且还要忍受成为这种无情的原因的痛苦,尽管是非自愿的。

 

There was no one in the house to whom she might unburden her heart, no one to pour into her wound one drop of consolation.

会院里没有一个人可以让她倾诉衷肠,没有一个人可以给她的伤口注入一滴安慰。

 

She overcame her feelings so far as not only to forgive them who had injured her, but also to render thanks to God for what she tried to look upon as a merited chastisement.

她克服了自己的感情,不仅原谅了伤害她的人,而且还向天主表达感谢,因为她试图把这看做是一种应得的惩罚。

 

The effort was, however, too trying on her delicate sensibilities. She fell seriously ill and recovered but slowly.

然而,这种努力对她那细腻的敏感未免太过分了。她病得很重,但恢复得很慢。

 

About Christmas, 1802, she felt around her heart acute pains which prevented her attending to her customary duties.

大约在1802年圣诞节的时候,她感到自己的心脏一阵剧烈的痛苦,使她不能按她通常的职责办事。

 

In vain did she struggle against her sufferings, they did but increase ; it was as if she were being pierced by sharp arrows and she was, finally, obliged to keep her bed.

她与痛苦作斗争是徒劳的,痛苦只增不减;她仿佛被尖利的箭射穿了一样,最后不得不卧床休息。

 

In her humility, she dared acknowledge neither to herself nor to others the real cause of her malady, although she knew it from a vision vouchsafed her at the time of her clothing.

她为人谦恭,既不敢自己承认,也不敢向别人承认,她的病是由什么引起的,虽然她在穿衣服的时候,被赐予从一个神视异象中看出了这一点

 

The signification of the ceremony, as well as of every article of the religious dress, had been shown her.

仪式以及会服上的每一件东西的意义都向她显明了。

 

She had, in consequence, received it with deep respect and gratitude. St. Augustine, patron of the Order, had shown her his heart burning with love, had clothed her with the habit, accepted her for his daughter, promised her his special assistance.

因此,她对它怀着深深的敬意和感激。圣奥斯定这个修道会的主保,曾向她表示过他的内心充满了爱,给她穿上了这身会衣,接受了她做他的女儿,答应给予她特殊的帮助。

 

At this sight so great a fire was enkindled in her breast that she felt herself more closely united to the community than with her own blood relations.

见此情景,她胸中燃起了一团大火,她觉得自己同修会团体的关系同自己的血缘关系的家人还要紧密。

 

The significance of the religious dress became then as real to her as the dress itself.

会服的意义对她来说就像服装本身一样真实。

 

She was actually conscious of the spiritual union it established between her and the rest of the sisterhood.

她实际上意识到它在她和其他姐妹之间建立了灵性上的结合。

 

It was like a current flowing through the whole body, but ever returning to herself as to its source.

它就像一股电流流过全身,却又不断地回到她自身,回到它的源头。

 

Her heart had become, so to say, the spiritual centre of the community.

可以说,她的心已成为修会团体的灵性中心。

 

Hers was the terrible mission of enduring the wounds inflicted upon the Heart of the Bridegroom by the sins and imperfections of its members.

她的可怕使命是忍受新郎心中的因罪孽而引起的创伤和成员的不完美所造成的创伤。

 

She could advance but slowly in this way, for love did not render her insensible to pain and sorrow, and every infraction of vows or rules pierced her heart like a burning dart.

她可以用这样的方式慢慢前进,因为爱并没有使她麻木不仁感受不到痛苦和悲伤,每一次违背誓言或规则的行为都像一颗燃烧的飞镖一样刺穿她的心。

 

No one understood her state.

没有人理解她的状态。

 

The physician of the convent was called in.

修会的医生被叫了进来。

 

He pronounced her sufferings purely physical.

他宣称说她的痛苦纯粹是肉体上的。

 

It was the first time in her life that she had been subjected to medical treatment.

这是她有生以来第一次接受医药治疗。

 

In her own home certain simple herbs, of whose virtues she herself possessed the knowledge, and a little repose quickly wrought a cure ; no one thought of having recourse to medicine.

在她自己家里,她有某些简单的草药,她自己也知道这些草药的妙处而且稍微休息一下,很快就治好了。没有人想到要求助于药物。

 

Now it was very different.

现在情况大不一样了。

 

The Rule imposed it as a duty to declare herself sick and to receive the care of the physician appointed.

根据规定,她有义务声明自己生病,并接受指定医生的治疗。

 

Although knowing her illness to be purely spiritual, to be relieved only by spiritual means, yet, as an obedient novice, she could refuse no remedy offered her.

虽然她知道她的病纯粹是灵性上的,只有通过灵性上的方法才能得到解脱,但是,作为一个服从的初学者,她不能拒绝任何给她的治疗。

 

She quietly allowed herself to be treated, happy in having an occasion to practise obedience.

她平静地让别人治疗她,因为有机会服从而感到高兴。

 

That her submission might be still more perfect, Almighty God permitted the evil spirit to lay all kinds of snares for her.

为了使她的服从更完美,全能的天主允许恶灵为她设下各种圈套

 

He appeared as an angel of light, and exhorted her to return to the world.

它以光明天使的身份出现,并劝她回到尘世。


It would be sinful, he reasoned, to desire longer to bear a burden above her strength, and he pictured to her what she would have to endure from the Sisters, etc.

推理,要是再让她承担超出她能力范围的负担,那就是罪过了。使她想象,她将不得不忍受修女们所带来的痛苦,等等。

 

But the sign of the cross put the tempter to flight even before he had finished his wily speech.

但是十字架圣号甚至在它还没有讲完它的狡猾的言语之前就把这个诱惑者吓跑了。

 

Again he sought to rouse her resentment and make her murmur against Superiors, or he tried to inspire her with such fear of them as to force her to leave the convent.

它又一次试图激起她的怨恨,让她抱怨长上,或者试图用对长上的恐惧来激发她,迫使她离开修会。

 

One night he threw her into an agony of terror.

一天晚上,把她投进了一种恐惧的痛苦之中。

 

It seemed to her that the Superioress and the Novice-Mistress suddenly entered her cell, reproached her in unmeasured terms, declared her absolutely unworthy of their holy vocation, and ended by saying she should be expelled from the community.

在她看来,女院长和女初学生主管突然进了她的小屋,毫不留情地责备她,宣布她完全不配享有们的圣召,最后竟说要把她赶出修会团体。

 

Anne Catherine received their rebukes in silence, acknowledged her unworthiness, and begged them to be patient with her.

安纳·加大利纳默默地接受了们的责备,承认自己不配,并请求们对她耐心些。

 

Then the angry nuns left her cell, abusing her as they went.

然后愤怒的修女们离开了她的小屋,一边走一边辱骂她。

 

The poor novice wept and prayed till morning, when she sent for her confessor, told him what had occurred during the night, and asked him what she should do to appease the Superioress.

这个可怜的初学修女哭泣着,祈祷着,一直到早晨,当她派人去请她的听告解神父,告诉他那天晚上发生了什么事,并问他该怎么做才能使这位女院长平静下来。

 

But on inquiry, it was proved that neither the Superioress nor any other Sister had entered her cell at the time specified.

但经查问,证明无论是女院长还是其他任何一个修女,都没有在指定的时间进过她的小屋。

 

The confessor saw in it an attack of the evil one, and the novice thanked God for the deep feeling of unworthiness by which she had overcome the tempter.

听告解神父看到了这是恶魔的一种攻击,这位初学修女感谢天主让她以自己不配的深刻感觉,战胜了诱感。

 

After some weeks the physician's visits were discontinued.

几周后,医生停止了探访。

 

The community thought her cured ; but, in reality, it was not so.

修会团体认为她被治愈了;但实际上并非如此。

 

She was so weak and infirm that again the hue and cry was raised against the convent's burdening itself by the profession of such a member.

她是那样柔弱,那样虚弱,以致人们呼声又起,反对修会以这样一个成员的立誓修道来使自己受负担。

 

"Send her away at once," they said,"do not incur the obligation of keeping her altogether."

马上把她送走,她们说,完全不要承担把她留下的义务。

 

These whispers, although perhaps at the other end of the building, were heard by the poor invalid as if spoken in her cell.

这些窃窃私语,虽然可能是在建筑的另一端,却被那个可怜的病人听到了,仿佛是在她的小屋里说的。


All the little plots, all the thoughts of her Sisters against her, pierced her soul like so many fiery sparks, like so many red-hot spears, wounding her to the quick.

她的姐妹们对她的一切小计谋,一切反对她的想法都无数炽热的火花许多灼热的长矛,刺透了她的灵魂,把她伤得很厉害。

 

The gift of reading hearts which she possessed from her infancy, but which had never given her pain among the simple peasants, who all loved and reverenced her, now became for her a source of exquisite suffering.

她从小就具有读心术的天赋,但这种天赋从来没有使她在纯朴的农民中间引起痛苦,他们都敬爱她,现在却成了她剧烈痛苦的源泉。

 

All this was in accordance with the designs of God.

这都是出于天主的旨意。

 

He willed that only by the perfection of virtue, should she surmount the obstacles she was to meet in her task of expiation.

祂希望她只有在美德臻于完善的情况下,才能克服赎罪过程中遇到的障碍。


She saw the passions of her fellow-sisters, inasmuch as she had to struggle against them by her own prayer and mortification ; and by humility, patience, and charity she had to disarm those who opposed her making the religious vows.

她看到了同伴姐妹们的盛怒,因为她必须通过自己的祈祷和克己来与她们斗争;她不得不藉着谦卑、耐心和爱德解除那些反对她矢发修会圣愿的人的武装。

 

If a word of complaint, a sign of dissatisfaction escaped her, she tearfully implored pardon with expressions of sorrow so touching that the Sisters became more kindly disposed toward her.

如果她说了一句埋怨的话,露出一点不满的神色,她就哭着请求原谅,同时又流露出一种叫人伤心的表情,这使修女们对她更加亲切了。

 

Then she would run before the Blessed Sacrament and beg for strength to perform her duties.

然后她会跑到圣体圣事前,祈求力量来履行她的职责。

 

"She redoubled her efforts to render herself useful and stilled the anguish of her heart with these words : "I will persevere, even if I should be martyred!"

她加倍努力,使自己成为有用的人,并以这样一句话来安慰自己内心的痛苦:“即使牺牲殉道,我也要坚持。

 

On a certain Friday in February, 1803, as she was praying alone before the Blessed Sacrament, there suddenly appeared before her a cross, eight inches in length, on which hung an image of the Saviour covered with blood.

18032月的一个星期五,当她独自在圣体前祈祷时,突然出现在她面前的是一个八英寸长的十字架,上面挂着一个浑身是血的救主的形象。

 

" I was," she says, "greatly agitated by this apparition.

她说,我被这个异象显现搅得心烦意乱。

 

I flushed and trembled, for I saw everything around me and the bloody crucifix before me.

我兴奋激动,浑身发抖,因为我看到了我周围的一切,以及我面前那血淋淋的十字架。

 

It was not a vision, I saw it with my bodily eyes. Then the thought struck me that by this apparition God was preparing me for extraordinary sufferings.

那不是幻象,是我的肉眼看见的。然后,我突然想到,天主通过这个特异的显现,让我准备好承受非同寻常的苦难。

 

I shuddered ! — but the pitiable sight of my blood-stained Jesus banished my repugnance, and I felt strong to accept even the most fearful pains if Our Lord only granted me patience to bear them."

我战栗发抖!但是,看到我那沾满鲜血的耶稣的可怜的景象,我的厌恶之情就消失了,只要我们的主赐给我忍耐,我就能坚强地接受最可怕的痛苦。

 

The presentment was soon realized. The gift of tears was bestowed upon her that she might weep over the outrages offered her Divine Betrothed and find in it for herself a fruitful source of humiliation.

这种预感很快就实现了。以便能为她神圣的净配所遭受的暴行而哭泣,并从中找到谦卑自己的丰富源泉。

 

Whenever anything was presented either to her corporal or mental sight which called for supernatural sorrow, it was impossible for her to restrain her tears.

无论什么时候,只要在她的肉体或精神上看到需要超性的悲伤,她就无法抑制自己的眼泪。

 

When she considered the sufferings and tribulations of the Church, when she saw the Sacraments conferred or received unworthily, her heart was so wounded that torrents of bitter tears flowed from her eyes.

当她想到教会的苦难和磨难,当她看到圣被不当授予和受时,非常伤心,泪水夺眶而出。

 

If she beheld spiritual blindness, false piety veiling evil dispositions, grace despised or obstinately resisted, the truths of faith set aside, her tears flowed involuntarily, bathing her cheeks, her neck, her breast almost unknown to herself.

如果她看到的是灵性上的盲目,虚假的虔诚掩盖了邪恶的性情,恩宠受到轻视或固执地抵制,信仰的真理被抛在一边,她的眼泪就不由自主地流出来,浸湿了她的面颊、她的脖子、她的胸膛,几乎连她自己也察觉不到。

 

In the chapel, at Holy Communion, at meals, at work, at community exercises, her tears would gush forth to the extreme displeasure of the religious. During Mass and Holy Communion, all eyes were turned upon her.

在小圣堂里,在圣体圣事上,在吃饭时,在工作时,在修会团体神操时,她的眼泪会涌出来,使修女们感到极端的不快。弥撒和领圣体时,所有的目光都集中在她身上。

 

This was all the notice she received, at first ; but, as her tears became more abundant, she was taken aside and reproached for her singular behavior.

这是她最初接到的全部警告;但是,当她的眼泪越来越多的时候,她被拉到一边,因她的古怪行为而受到责备。

 

She promised on her knees to correct ; but soon, next day perhaps, it was remarked that during Mass even the kneeling-bench was wet with her tears, a fresh proof as it was thought that the novice was still indulging wounded self-love.

她跪着答应改正;但不久,也许在第二天,人们注意到,在望弥撒时,连跪凳都被她的眼泪打湿了,这是一个新的证据,因为人们认为,这个初学修女仍然沉溺于使心灵受伤的私爱之中。(注:self-love :私爱;自私的爱。)

 

Again was she reprimanded, again was she penanced ; but her humility and submission were such that the Superioress was forced to acknowledge the poor novice's tears a greater mortification to herself than to others.

她又一次受到训斥,又一次勒令补赎;但是,由于她的谦逊和顺从,这位女院长不得不承认,这个可怜的初学修女的眼泪对她自己比对别人更难堪。

 

They were, in the end, ascribed to constitutional weakness and not to discontent or caprice.

最终,们被归咎于体质上的柔弱,而不是不满或任性

 

As to Anne Catherine, so far from looking upon them as supernatural, she anxiously examined whether they did not proceed from some secret aversion to the Sisters.

至于安纳·加大利纳,她非但没有把它们看作是超性的东西,反而焦急地考虑它们是不是出于对修女姐妹们的某种隐秘的厌恶。

 

She dared not decide for herself, and disclosed her fears to her confessor, who quieted her with the assurance that they sprang not from hatred but from compassion.

她不敢自己作决定,向她的听告解神父倾诉了她的恐惧,听告解神父安慰她并向她保证说,她的恐惧不是来自仇恨,而是来自同情。

 

She hoped that time would mitigate the intensity of her feelings and that her tears would cease to flow.

她希望时间会减轻她紧张的感受,她的眼泪会停止流出来。

 

But this was not the case; they rather increased than diminished.

但事实并非如此;它们非但没有减少,反而增加了。

 

In her distress she applied to the other confessors appointed for the religious, but from all she received the same answer.

在她痛苦的时候,她向其修会来的听告解神父求助,但是从所有的人那里,她都得到了同样的回答。

 

Dean Overberg says on this point : —

奥弗伯格总铎在这一点上说:

 

“Anne Catherine so tenderly loved her Sisters in religion that she would willingly have shed her blood for them individually.

安纳·加大利纳如此温柔地爱着她的修女姐妹们,以至于她甘愿单单为她们流自己的血。

 

She knew that several were against her, yet she did all in her power to propitiate them and rejoiced when any one asked her assistance.

她知道有几个人反对她,但她还是尽其所能去安抚他们,当有人向她求助时,她就感到很高兴。

 

She hoped by kindness to win them over to their duty.

她希望能以仁慈的行为,来说服她们履行她们的职责

 

"God permitted that she should not be appreciated by the Superioress and Sisters who saw in all that she did either hypocrisy, flattery, or pride, and they failed not to reproach her openly.

天主允许她不被女院长和修女们赏识,她们看出她的一切行为,不是虚伪,就是谄媚,或者傲慢,她们没有公开责备她。

 

At first she tried to justify herself; but afterward she merely replied that she would correct.

起初,她试图为自己辩护;但后来她只是回答说她会改正。

 

She wept over the deplorable spiritual destitution of the religious; for whether at exercises of piety or other conventual duties, it was ever before her eyes.

她为可悲的修道生活的灵性缺乏而哭泣;因为,无论是虔诚的祈祷,还是其修会的职责,都始终在她眼前。

 

" The tears she shed during the Holy Sacrifice were particularly displeasing to the nuns, and they held little whispered councils as to the most effective means of curing her of what they termed her sloth and caprice.

她在弥撒圣祭时掉下的眼泪特别使修女们感到不快,她们低声地商量着怎样才能最有效地治好她们所说的她的懒惰和任性

 

All this added to her desolation, since she clearly knew what was passing in their inmost thoughts.

这一切都使她感到更加凄凉,因为她清楚地知道们内心深处在想些什么。

 

"She assured me that she knew all that was said or planned against her.

她向我保证,她知道所有针对她的言论或计划。

 

' I saw then even more clearly than I do now.'she said (April 22, 1813), l what passed in souls, and sometimes I let them see that I knew it.

那时我比现在看得更清楚。她说(1813422)我知道灵魂中发生的事,有时我让们知道我知道。

 

Then they wanted to know how I came by the knowledge, but I dared not tell them, and they straightway imagined that some one had told me.

然后她们想知道我是怎么知道的,但我不敢告诉们,们马上以为有人告诉了我。

 

I asked my confessor what I should do.

我问我的听告解神父该怎么办。

 

He told me to say that I had spoken of it in confession and to give no explanation on the subject."

他要我说,这件事我是在告解中说的,不要对这件事作任何解释。

 

On another occasion, she again alluded to her gift of tears : —

还有一次,她又提到了她的眼泪的恩赐:


"I would willingly have given my life for my sister-religious and, therefore, my tears could not be restrained when I saw them so irritated against me.

我愿意把我的生命献给我的修会姐妹们,因此,当我看到们对我如此恼火时,我的眼泪是无法克制的。

 

Who would not weep at seeing himself a stumbling-block in the house of peace, among the chosen of God? I wept over the poverty, the misery, the blindness of those whose hard hearts languished amidst the superabundant graces of our Holy Redeemer."

谁看到自己在和平之家,在神的选民中成为绊脚石,不会流泪呢?我为那些在我们神圣的救主丰盛的恩典中们的坚硬的心枯萎了的人的贫穷、痛苦和盲目而哭泣。

 

When, in 1813, Ecclesiastical Superiors demanded the testimony of the community of Agnetenberg concerning Anne Catherine, the Superioress, the Novice-Mistress and five of the other religious unanimously deposed as follows : —

1813年,当教会长上要求阿格尼滕堡修会团体的女院长、初学生总管和其他五名修女提供关于安纳·加大利纳的证词时,她们一致证词如下:

 

"Anne Catherine was affable and cordial, very easy to deal with, humble, condescending, and exceedingly preventing.

安纳·加大利纳和蔼可亲、很容易相处、谦逊、屈尊俯就,特别给予人们灵性上的指导

 

In sickness she was admirable, ever resigned to the will of God.

她在疾病中是令人钦佩的,总是服从于天主的旨意

 

She quickly and cheerfully forgave every offence against her, always asked pardon if she herself were in fault, never harbored ill-will, and was always the first to yield."

她很快就高兴地原谅了每一个反对她的冒犯,总是请求原谅她自己是否有过错,从不怀有恶意,总是第一个服从。

 

And Clara Soentgen told Dean Overberg : —

克拉拉·索恩根告诉奥弗伯格总铎:

 

"Anne Catherine was never so happy as when serving the Sisters.

安纳·加大利纳在为修女们服务时从来没有这么开心过。

 

They might ask what they pleased, she never refused she gladly gave them even what she needed most herself.

她们可能会要她们喜欢的东西,她从来没有拒绝过,即使是她最需要的,她也乐意给们。

 

If she had a preference, it was only for those that she knew disliked her."

如果她有偏爱的话,那就是她所知道的那些不喜欢她的人。

 

Dean Rensing of Dulmen deposed, April 24, 1813: —

1813424日迪尔曼伦辛总铎的证词:

 

"I had been told of Anne Catherine having rendered great services to one of the Sisters during an illness, and I asked her why she did it.

有人告诉我,安纳·加大利纳在生病期间为其中一个修女做了极好的服侍,我问她为什么要这样做。

 

She answered : 'The Sister had sores on her feet and the servants did not like to wait on her as she was hard to please.

她回答说:这位修女脚上有疮,仆人们不愿意伺候她,因为她很难取悦。

 

I thought it a work of mercy, and I begged her to let me wash her blood-stained bandages.

我以为这是一件仁慈的工作,我求她让我洗她血迹斑斑的绷带。

 

She had the itch, too, and I used to make up her bed, as the servants were afraid of catching her disease.

她也很痒,我过去常常整理她的床,因为仆人们害怕染上她的病。

 

But I confided in God and He preserved me from it.

但我信任天主,祂从其中保护我。

 

I knew that this whimsical Sister would not thank me when she got well, that she would again treat me as a hypocrite as she had often done before.

我知道,这个古怪的修女姐妹在康复后不会感谢我,她会像以前那样把我当作一个伪君子。

 

But I said to myself, 'I shall have so much the more merit before God,'and so I went on, washing her linen, making her bed, and taking the best care I could of her."

但我对自己说:我在天主面前将更有功德,所以我就继续洗她的衣服,铺床,尽我所能照顾她。

 

Anne Catherine understood so perfectly the signification of the religious vows, she so ardently longed to practise obedience in all things, that the fact of not being exercised in it by the commands of Superiors was a very grievous trial to her.

安纳·加大利纳如此清楚修道誓言的意义,她如此渴望在一切事情上都遵守服从,没有长上的命令可以服从,这对她来说是一种非常痛苦的考验。

 

She often begged the Reverend Mother to command her in virtue of obedience that she might practise her vow.

她经常恳求院长嬷嬷命令她服从她,以便她能实践她的誓言。

 

But such requests were looked upon as singular, the effects of scruples, and she received no other reply from the weak and indulgent Superioress than : " You know your duty" and thus she was left to herself.

但是,这种要求被认为是一种出于疑心病的奇怪想法,她没有得到这软弱和宽容的女院长的其回答,除了:“你知道你的责任,她就这样被委托给了自己。(注:scruples :多疑;疑心病;心窄(病):良心溷淆,通常指毫无理由地怀疑自己不能达到道德或信仰之要求而产生之过度疑虑。将无罪看作有罪,或将小罪看作大罪。)

 

This want of training afflicted the novice even to tears. It seemed to her that the blessing attached to the religious state was not for her, since blind obedience to Superiors, so pleasing to her Divine Betrothed, was not permitted her.

这种缺乏神操的感觉使这个初学修女甚至哭了起来。在她看来,这个修道生活的祝福并不适合她,因为她不允许不加判断地服从长上,而这何等讨她那天主净配的喜悦。

 

In 1813, the Superioress deposed as follows: — "Sister Emmerich cheerfully and eagerly fulfilled the injunctions of obedience, especially when enjoined upon her individual! ."

1813年,女院长作证如下:

艾曼丽修女愉快而急切地履行了服从的命令,尤其是当她个人被要求强制执行的时候。


 

The Novice-Mistress says ;—

初学修女主管说:

 

" She practised obedience perfectly. Her only regret was that Reverend Mother laid no commands upon her."

完美地实践了服从圣愿。她唯一的遗憾是嬷嬷没有对她吩咐什么。

 

If occasions of practising obedience were for the most part wanting, she tried to supply the loss by her interior submission and untiring attention to regulate all her actions according to the spirit and letter of the Rule.

如果说练习服从的场合在很大程度上是缺乏的,那么她试图通过内心的服从和不懈的关注照会规的精神和文本来规范她的所有行为来弥补不足。

 

She would not live in religion in the mere practice of the still existing observances ; she aimed at moulding her whole interior and exterior life by its animating principle.

她不会仅仅依靠现有的仪式来度修道生活;她的目的是通过它的活泼泉源来塑造她的整个内外生活。

 

With this view she made it a careful study, and so great was her respect for it that she read it only on her knees.

有了这种意向,她把它做了一个仔细的研究,她对它的尊重是如此之大,以至于她只是跪着读

 

Sometimes whilst thus engaged, the light by which she was reading would be suddenly extinguished and the book closed by an invisible power.

有时,在这样忙于阅读的时候,她正在阅读的灯光会突然熄灭,这本书被一种看不见的力量合上。

 

She knew well by whose agency this was affected so, quietly relighting her candle, she set to work more earnestly than before.

她很清楚这是谁的手段,悄悄地重新点燃了她的蜡烛,她开始比以前更认真地读。

 

These attacks of the demon grew more sensible and violent, and amply indemnified her for the want of other trials.

恶魔的这些攻击变得更加明显和猛烈,并充分补足了她所缺乏的其它考验


If he maltreated her for seriously studying her Rule, she applied thereto more assiduously ; if he excited a storm against her in the community, it only gave her an occasion to practise blind and humble obedience as the following incident will prove :

如果它因她认真研究她的会规而施虐,她就会更加勤奋地应用它;如果它在修会团体里对她激起一场风暴,只会给她一个不加判断和谦卑恭顺的服从机会,下面的事件将证明:

 

A rich merchant of Amsterdam had entered his daughter as a boarder in the convent. When about to return home, the young lady presented a florin to each of the nuns.

一位富有的阿姆斯特丹商人让她的女儿进修道院当寄宿生,当她要回家的时候,这位年轻的女士向每个修女们赠送了一个弗罗林。

 

(评注:florin弗罗林(荷兰货币盾)

 

But to Anne Catherine, for whom she had a special affection, she gave two, which the good novice immediately handed over to her Superioress. A few days after the whole house was up in arms.

但是对安纳·加大利纳来说,她对她有一种特殊的感情,她给了她两个,这个好初学修女立即上交给她的女院长。几天后整个会院全副武装,如临大敌。

 

Anne Catherine was cited before the Chapter, accused of having received five thalers from the young Hollander, of giving only two to the Reverend Mother, and of having handed over the other three to the organist Soentgen, who had just paid a visit to his daughter.

安纳·加大利纳在会议中被揪出来,指控她从年轻的荷兰人那里得到了五泰勒,只给了可尊敬的嬷嬷两个,把另外三个人交给了风琴师索恩根,他刚刚去看望了他的女儿。

 

(评注:泰勒,旧时德意志诸国的大银币)

 

They appealed to her conscience, and Anne Catherine truthfully declared all that had passed.

她们要她凭良心说话,安纳·加大利纳如实说出了这一切。

 

The nuns redoubled their accusations, but she firmly denied having received five thalers.

修女们加倍指责,但她坚决否认收到了五泰勒。

 

Then sentence was passed upon the poor novice, She was condemned to ask pardon on her knees of each Sister.

然后,这个可怜的初学修女被宣判,她被处罚跪在每个修女面前请求原谅。

 

She gladly accepted the undeserved penance, begging God to grant that her Sisters might pardon not only this imaginary fault, but all they saw displeasing in her.

她欣然接受了这种不应得的赎罪善功恳求天主允许她的姐妹们不仅原谅她的这一假想的错误,而且原谅她们在她身上所看到的所有令人不快的错误。

 

Some months after the merchant's daughter returned, and the novice asked the Superioress to inquire into the affair.

几个月后,商人的女儿回来了,初学修女请求女院长去调查这件事。

 

But she received for answer to think no more of what was now forgotten. She obeyed and reaped the full benefit of the humiliation.

但她得到答复,不愿再想现在已经忘了的事,她服从了,并从谦卑中得到了充分的好处。

 

We see by this circumstance how prone these imperfect religious were to dislike and suspect their innocent companion, and also how quickly the storm was lulled even when at its height.

通过这种情况,我们看到这些不完全的修道者是多么容易不喜欢和怀疑们无辜的同伴,还有,即使在风暴最猛烈的时候,它平息是多么的快啊!

 

Their novice's demeanor produced impressions so varied upon them that we can scarcely wonder that, in their inexperience, their obtuseness to all beyond their every-day existence, they sometimes went astray.

们的初学修女的举止给们留下了不同的印象,以至于我们几乎不能奇怪,由于们缺乏经验,们对日常生活之外的所有事都很迟钝,们有时会搞错。

 

And, although Anne Catherine's sweetness and patience under such trials, her earnestness in begging pardon, could not fail to soften even the most exasperated, yet new suspicions, fresh charges soon arose against her.

尽管安纳·加大利纳在这种考验下的温和与耐心,她在乞求原谅时的真诚,即使是最容易被激怒的人,也不能不软化,然而,新的怀疑,新的指控很快就起来攻击她。

 

There was in the richness of her supernatural life, in the varied and wonderful gifts imparted to her, in a word, in her whole being something too striking to remain hidden, or to allow her to tread the beaten paths of ordinary life like the other religious.

她的超性生活的丰富,她的各种各样的奇妙的恩赐,总之,在她的整个生活中,有一种太引人注目、无法隐藏的东西,不能让她像其他修道者一样,踏上平庸生活的平凡的道路。(注:supernatural :超性;超自然;超本性;神奇的;超自然能力的;超性的:超越本性、在本性之上的。)

 

However great the simplicity and modesty of her bearing, there shone about her a something so holy, so elevated, that all were forced to feel, though they might not acknowledge her superiority; consequently, they regarded her as singular, tiresome, and disagreeable.

不管她的举止多么质朴和谦虚,她身上都放射一种如此神圣、如此高尚的东西,所有人都不得不感到,尽管们可能不承认她的优秀;因此,们认为她是奇怪的、令人讨厌的,让人不喜欢的。

 

Anne Catherine was drawn to the Blessed Sacrament by an irresistible force.

安纳·加大利纳是被一股不可抗拒的力量吸引到圣体圣事前

 

When some errand took her through the church, she fell as if paralyzed at the foot of the altar.

有什么差事驱使她穿过教堂,她倒在祭台之下,好像瘫痪了一样。

 

She was ever in a state of contemplation and interior suffering which, in spite of every effort on her part, could not be wholly concealed.

她一直处于一种默观和内在受苦的状态,尽管她尽了一切努力,但还是无法完全掩饰。

 

To all around her she was simply a mystery, to some quite insupportable.

对她周围的人来说,她只是一个谜,对一些人来说是无法忍受的。

 

Clara Soentgen deposed on this point as follows : —

克拉拉·索恩根在这一点上作证如下:

 

"Anne Catherine did her best to conceal the attraction which impelled her to extraordinary devotion ; but nothing could escape me, I knew her so well. I often found her in the chapel kneeling or prostrate before the Blessed Sacrament.

安纳·加大利纳尽了最大的努力来掩饰驱使她做出非凡虔诚的吸引力,但我对她非常了解,什么也逃不掉。我经常发现她在小教堂里跪着或是在圣体圣事前行伏地礼(注:prostration:伏地礼;俯身致敬。)

 

She was so powerfully attracted to contemplation that, even in the company of others, I could see that she was quite abstracted.

她被默观深深地吸引住,即使在别人的陪伴下,我也能看出她是完全心不在焉的。

 

She was much given to bodily mortification.

她非常习惯于肉体上的克己苦行

 

At table I used to notice that she took the worst of everything, leaving dainty dishes untouched, or passing her share to her neighbor, especially if the latter had any ill-will toward her, and she was so pleased when a chance presented itself to do this that I was filled with astonishment."

在餐桌上,我常常注意到她只吃最糟糕的东西,美味的盘子碰都没碰过,或者把她的份额传给了她的邻座,尤其是如果邻座对她有什么恶意的话。她很高兴有机会做这件事,所以我很惊讶

 

The Novice-Mistress says : —

初学修女主管说:

 

"Several times during Anne Catherine's novitiate, I removed little pieces of wood from her bed.

在安纳·加大利纳的初学院期间,我好几次从她的床上取下小块木头。

 

She had put them there to render her rest uncomfortable, for she was much given to corporal mortification.

她把它们放在那里,使她的休息不舒服,因为她投注于肉体的克己苦行

 

I was sometimes obliged to make her leave the chapel at ten o'clock in winter and send her to bed ; otherwise she would have remained too long."

我有时不得不让她在冬天十点钟离开小教堂,送她上床睡觉,否则她就会呆太久了。

 

On various occasions, Anne Catherine herself spoke of her early days in the convent. Clement Brentano, who carefully collected all her communications and reduced them to writing, gives us the following : —

在不同的场合,安纳·加大利纳自己也谈到了她在修道院的早期生活。格肋孟·布伦塔诺仔细收集了她所有的沟通,并将其提炼为文字,他给了我们以下内容:

 

"From the very beginning of my novitiate I endured incredible interior sufferings.

从我初学院的开始,我就忍受着难以置信的内心的受苦。

 

At times my heart was surrounded by roses and then suddenly transpierced by thorns, sharp points, and darts, which arose from my perceiving much more clearly than I do now every injurious thought, word, or action against me.

有时我的心被玫瑰花包围,然后突然被刺、尖锐的刺枪和飞镖刺穿,这是因为我比现在更清楚地察觉到每一个伤害我的想法、言语或行动。

 

Not one with whom I lived, no religious, no confessor, had the least idea of the state of my soul or the particular way by which I was led.

和我一起生活的人,无论修女,听告解神父,对我的灵魂状态或我被引导的特定方式都一无所知。

 

I lived wholly in another world of which I could make nothing known.

我完全生活在另一个我不能使人明了的世界里。

 

But, as on some occasions, in consequence of any interior direction, things appeared in me not in conformity with everyday life, I became a cause of temptation to many, a subject for injurious suspicion, detraction, and unkind remarks.

但是,就像在某些情况下,在任何内在指引上,我身上出现的事情与日常生活不一致,我成了许多人的试探的原因,成了怀疑有害、贬损和刻薄的话的对象。

 

These mortifying opinions and speeches entered my soul like sharp arrows, I was attacked on all sides, my heart was pierced with a thousand wounds.

这些令人羞愧难当的评价和言论像尖尖的箭一样进入我的灵魂,我被四面攻击,我的心被一千个伤害刺穿。

 

Exteriorly I was serene and cordial, as if ignorant of their cruel treatment ; and, after all, I really did not know much from without, for the suffering was all within.

从表面上看,我是安详而亲切的,仿佛不知道们的残酷对待;毕竟,我真的从外面知道的不多,因为受苦全是在心里的。

 

It was shown me in order to exercise my obedience, charity, and humility.

它显给我是为了锻炼我的服从、爱德和谦卑。

 

When I failed in these virtues, I was interiorly punished.

当我在这些美德上失败时,我受到了内在的惩罚。

 

My soul appeared to me transparent ; and, when a new suffering assailed me, I saw it in my soul under the appearance of fiery darts, red and inflamed spots, which patience alone could remove.

我看到我的灵魂是透明的。我还能在我的灵魂中看到每个新的折磨来临时,呈现为炽热的飞镖、火红色的刺点,只有靠忍耐才能去除这折磨。

 

My condition in the convent was so singular, so perfectly abstracted from outward things that my companions can hardly be blamed for their treatment of me.

我在修院的情况是如此的奇特,如此完美地从外在的事物中抽离出来,我的同伴们对待我的态度,几乎不能责怪她们

 

They could not understand me, they regarded me with distrust and suspicion ; however, God hid many facts from them that would have perplexed them still more.

们不能理解我,不信任和怀疑地看待我;然而,天主向们隐瞒了许多事实,这些事实会使们更加困惑。

 

As for the rest, in spite of these trials, I have never since been so rich interiorly, never so perfectly happy as then, for I was at peace with God and man.

至于其余的,尽管有这些考验,我从那以后从来没有像那时那样内在富有,也从来没有像那时那样幸福,因为我和天主和人都和睦相处。

 

When at work in the garden, the birds perched on my head and shoulders and we praised God together.

在花园里工作时,鸟儿栖息在我的头上和肩膀上,我们一起赞美天主。

 

My angel was ever at my side. Although the evil spirit raged around me, although he heaped abuse upon me in the quiet of my cell and sought to terrify me by frightful noises, yet he could never harm me; I was always relieved in good time.

我的天使总是站在我身边。虽然恶灵在我周围肆虐,虽然在我安静的小屋里不断地辱骂我,并试图用可怕的声音吓唬我,但永远不能够伤害我;我总是在适当的时候松了一口气。

 

I often thought I had the Infant Jesus in my arms for hours at a time ; or, when with the Sisters ; I felt Him by my side and I was perfectly happy.

我经常想,我在某时抱着耶稣圣婴几个小时;或者,当我和修女们在一起的时候,我感觉到祂在我身边,我非常高兴。

 

I beheld so many things which roused feelings of joy or pain, but I had no one to whom I could impart them, and my very efforts at concealing these sudden and violent emotions caused me to change color frequently.

我看到了许多唤起喜悦或痛苦的东西,但我没有人可以把它们透露,我所做的努力,就是隐藏这些突然而剧烈的情绪,使我经常变色。

 

Then the sisters said that I looked like one in love. They were, indeed, right for I could never love my Affianced enough, and when His friends spoke well of Him or of those dear to Him, my heart beat with joy."

然后姐妹妹们说,我看起来像一个恋爱中的人。她们确实是对的,因为我爱我的净配永远不够。当祂的朋友们称赞祂或所爱的人时,我的心都高兴得怦然跳动。


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