1. 希望所有的病人都能看到这一章，找到真正生病的原因，而不是花费所有钱去找医生。艾曼丽修女在神视中看到: 道德上有病的人所受的伤是最厉害的，因为它们的根源是在心灵的深处；从外表上看，他们似乎不那么可怕，但实际上可怕得多.
Sister Emmerich's communications with the Pilgrim furnished her many opportunities for combating his religious errors and prejudices.
One day he maintained a specious arguments that the institution of the Feast of Corpus Christ was unnecessary, since on Holy Thursday and in the daily Mass the Holy Eucharist is celebrated.
She listened in silence, but next day she said to him : —
" I have received a severe reproof from my guide. He says I should not have listened to the Pilgrim's words, I should not countenance such talk, it is heretical.
All that the Church does, even if there should glide in through human weakness views not altogether pure, is done under the direction of the Holy Spirit of God, and for the wants of the times.
The Feast of the Blessed Sacrament had become a necessity, since, at the time of its institution, the adoration due to Jesus therein' was neglected :
therefore, the Church proclaimed her faith by public worship.
There is no feast, no worship, no article of faith established by her which is not indispensable, not absolutely requisite at the time for the preservation of true doctrine.
God makes use of individuals, even with views less pure, to serve His own adorable designs.
The Church is founded on a rock; no human weakness can ravish from her treasures.
Therefore, I must never again listen to such denials of necessity in the Church's decisions, for they are heretical.
After this severe lesson, I endured cruel sufferings for my condescension."
Sister Emmerich again expressed herself as follows, on the " Illuminati," who, rejecting the holy usages of the Church, endeavor to introduce in their stead empty formulas and high-sounding phrases : —
"If the Church is true all in her is true ; he who admits not the one, believes not the other.
Whoever attributes things to chance, denies the effects of cause and makes them the result of chance.
Nothing is mere ceremony, all is substantial, all acts through the outward signs. I have often heard learned priests say : 'We must not ask people to believe everything at once ; if they only get hold of the thread, they will soon draw the whole ball to themselves.'
Such a speech is bad, erroneous.
Most people take very fine thread and wind until it breaks, or is scattered in shreds around.
The whole religion of either laymen or priests who speak thus is, in my opinion, like a balloon filled with holy things and sent up into the air, but which never reaches the sky.
I often see the religion of whole cities floating over them like a balloon.
" I have often been told that God has attached to the holy cross of Coesfeld and to all places in which sacred objects are venerated, the power of resisting evil but miracles depend on the fervor of prayer.
I often see the cross venerated in processions and those that receive with faith the graces flowing from it, preserved from evil, and their petitions heard, whilst their neighbors are shrouded in darkness.
I have also been told that lively, simple faith makes all things real and substantial.
These two expressions gave me great light on the subject of miracles and the granting of prayer."
With such words as the above she strove to combat the Pilgrim's inclination to laud the "piety" of the Moravians whilst he bitterly decried the " miseries of the Church"。
I was sternly rebuked by my guide when I listened silently to such remarks.
He pointed out the rashness of such judgments, saying that one falls thereby into the same faults as the first apostates.
He told me that I had to supply what is neglected in the Church, otherwise I shall be more guilty than they to whom it is not given to see what I see.
I saw the Moravian settlement.
They are as restrained in their movements as a person who tries to avoid waking one who is asleep.
It is all so formal, clean, and quiet they appear so pious, but they are inwardly dead and in a far more deplorable state than the poor Indians for whom I have now to pray.
Where there is no struggle there is no victory.
They are idle, therefore they are poor ; their affairs go badly enough, in spite of their fine talk and fair appearance.
I saw this in the Nuptial House.
Under the picture of two invalids, I saw the difference between souls, and their interior state before God.
I saw the Moravian community under the appearance of a sick person who conceals her maladies, who is very agreeable and pleasing in the exterior ; opposite to her, as in a far-off vision, I saw another invalid covered with ulcers which sparkled and shone like pearls.
The bed on which she lay was bright, the floor, the ceiling, the whole room, were dazzlingly white like snow.
As the sick Moravian drew near this room, she left stains wherever she stepped though she pretended not to see anything of it."
Sister Emmerich's manner of acting was even more significant than her words.
Though so highly privileged ; though in almost continual contemplation of the highest mysteries and truths of religion, the life of our Blessed Lord and His saints ; though admitted to a corporal participation in His Sacred Passion ; yet her greatest happiness, her most earnest desire was to assist at the celebration of the feasts and ceremonies of the Church in company with the faithful.
Her infirmities cut her off for years from this consolation, and she felt the privation most deeply ; no ecstasy, no vision could indemnify her for the loss.
In this she resembled Maria Bagnesi and Magdalene di Pazzi ; the former of whom begged so ardently to be allowed to visit once more the miraculous statue in the Church of the Aanunciation, Florence, that God granted her that favor, the last gratification she had on earth.
Maria's sufferings were such as to prevent her moving freely around her little room ; yet she managed, though with great pain, to attend to the altar which it contained and on which Mass was celebrated for her consolation.
Magdalene di Pazzi, though in constant communication with her angel-guardian, knew no greater pleasure when a child than to listen to the devout conversation of her mother whom she sometimes embarrassed by her questions ; nothing seemed to her comparable to the happiness of possessing the true faith.
As St. Hildegarde could say : "In contemplation I am more like a child than an old woman," so, too, did Sister Emmerich in vision often become again a child of five or six years old.
This puzzled her, and she once asked her angel what it meant. He replied: “If thou wert not really a child, that could not happen."
He wished to imply that, if she were not in soul and body as pure as a flower in the morning dew, she never could return to the innocent simplicity of childhood.
When Maria Bagnesi in her eighteenth year was about to pronounce her vows as a Tertiary of St. Dominic, she knew not the meaning of the vow of chastity.
She questioned her confessor, who told her that it meant to have Jesus Christ alone for spouse.
"O," said Maria smiling, "I have always kept that vow, then, for I have never had any other desire than that of loving Jesus."
St. Magdalene di Pazzi also could declare on her death-bed that she had never known anything contrary to purity, nor even in what manner it could be sullied.
Here we discover the secret of these privileged souls; no earthly image ever dimmed the mirror of their soul, which should reflect alone the bright beams of prophetic light.
And by this, also, we understand why the Church, when passing judgment on extraordinary graces, seeks proofs of their reality in those virtues attained only by constant mortification and detachment.
It would be in contradiction with the sanctity of God for the supernatural light of contemplation to dwell in a soul not wholly dead to itself and creatures ; therefore is this gift so rare, for in very few are found that purity and humility which characterized Sister Emmerich.
We need no more convincing proof of the latter virtue than the Pilgrim's own testimony.
From close observation he had drawn the conclusion that her unaccountable maladies arose from causes in the spiritual order quite foreign to her own physical condition ; and great was his disappointment, not to say disgust, when he saw her attach no importance whatever to their supernatural origin and pay little attention to their intimate connection with certain evils of the spiritual order which she was called upon to expiate.
His journal contains such lines as the following: "All goes to waste, the greatest graces are not understood !
And again, when he saw her, regardless of the particular character of her sufferings, accepting and even calling for Dr. Wegener's remedies, his impatience manifested itself.
Jan. 20 and Feb. 3, 1823. --"
Her sufferings increase, her courage decreases.
She lay all night in one position groaning with pain, until we turned her on the other side.
She was also tormented by fearful visions.
She thought herself a child pursued by wild beasts, swimming over stagnant pools to escape them, and unable to call for assistance. . . .
She endured this state till the vigil of Candlemas.
To the terrible hemorrhages of the last few days succeeded a general swelling of her whole body.
' I am full of pain,' she groaned, 'pain in all my members, even in my heels!'
This sudden change began at the sound of the evening-bells of the Purification, and it was completed when they ceased to ring.
She was quite courageous, though she neither spoke nor seemed to think of the coincidence.
This is her usual manner of acting, whatever be her state.
She seems unconscious of anything extraordinary; she even begs for help and seems hurt if we do not try to relieve her.
Her mysterious life is neither directed nor governed — hence result loss, confusion, want of harmony. "
The Pilgrim failed to reflect that her patient sufferings had obtained for her an increase of fortitude, which proves that her childlike simplicity in receiving them without seeking for a cause, was infinitely more agreeable to God than those around her dared to suspect.
Three years previously, when struck by her unalterable peace of soul, the Pilgrim had recorded :
— " She is extraordinarily courageous, full of childlike peace and simplicity.
She is always in contemplation, although she tries to resist it. She rejoices only in this, that she lives to suffer.
It is impossible to repeat her words, her transition from outward realities to the state of vision, her childlike joy, patience, courage, abandonment, the charm and candor of her whole demeanor.
Only they who see her can know it. In this state she is the picture of an innocent, trusting child full not of faith, but of that certainty that sight gives.
What we believe by God's grace, she knows; it is as real to her as is the existence of her parents and family.
She is, consequently, free from all returns upon self; she exhibits no discontent, no irritation.
She has no enemy ; she is full of peace, of joy, and of love.
There is no assumption of false gravity about her.
They are a little disappointed who expect to find in her exterior some striking confirmation of extraordinary graces.
Such persons attend rather to the emblems of dignity than to the dignity itself.
When the Pilgrim visited her she had a book before her, though indeed she was not reading ; she made use of it to prevent her mind's becoming absorbed in vision, but such efforts were often useless.
At times she joyfully thanked God for letting her live to suffer for her neighbor, for in eternity she could no longer do so.
She knows no sadness.
Many scenes, forgotten during the past days, have returned to her mind ; for instance, these last cold nights, she saw all the people in the neighborhood who were without beds.
The sight touched her, and she immediately supplied their need.
She saw also a poor widow, her own relative, in the same want. She turned to her angel, begging him to get her brother's angel to inspire him to send the poor woman a bed, and next day she had the consolation of learning that her brother had done so."
False sanctity, as we may easily believe, knows no such consolations, since it turns good into evil and has its root in spiritual pride.
It can aspire only to the recompense offered by the father of lies; viz., the satisfaction springing from gratified vanity, the praise of men, and sensual joys.
True contemplation grounds the soul in obedience and self-contempt.
Its chief characteristic is a disinclination to reveal the graces received, deference to spiritual authority alone being able to break the seal of silence in which it shrouds itself.
On the other hand, boasting, vain-glory, and publicity are the marks of a deluded soul; and, as the effects of grace are an increase of light, and of all the theological and moral virtues, so the inevitable consequences of spiritual pride are hypocrisy, heresy, and superstition.
One day Sister Emmerich, overwhelmed by suffering, entreated Our Lord to withdraw those visions in which she beheld so much that was incomprehensible to her. But she received the following reply : —
"I give thee visions not for thyself, but that thou mayest collect and communicate them. The present is not the time for sensible miracles ; therefore, I give thee visions.
I have done the same at all times to show that I am with My Church to the consummation of ages.
But visions alone secure not any one’s salvation. Thou must practice charity, patience, and the other virtues."
At another time she related what follows: —
"I begged Almighty God to withdraw my visions, that I may not be forced to communicate them, but I was not heard.
As usual, I was told to relate all that I could recall, even if I should be laughed at or even if I do not see any use in it.
I was again told that no one has ever seen all that I have seen or in the same way, but that that is not my affair, it is the Church's.
So much being allowed to go to waste will entail great accountability and do much harm.
They who deprive me of leisure and the clergy who have no faith and who find no one to take down my visions will have to render a severe account of their negligence.
I saw, too, how the demon raises obstacles.
" Long ago I was ordered to tell all, even if I should be looked upon as a fool. But no one wanted to listen to me, and the holiest things that I had seen and heard were so misunderstood and derided that through timidity I shut all up in my own heart, though not without pain.
Then I used to see in the distance the figure of a stranger who was to come to write by me.
I have found him, I recognize him in the Pilgrim.
From childhood I have had the habit of praying every evening for all who are in danger from accidents, such as violent falls, drowning, fire, etc., and I see pictures of such things turning out happily.
If I should happen to omit this prayer, I always see or hear of some great disaster; consequently, I understand by this not only the necessity of special prayers, but also the advantage there may be in making it known, since it may incite others to this loving service of prayer, though they see not its effects as I do.
The many, many wonderful communications from the Old and the New Testament, the innumerable pictures from the lives of the saints, etc. have been given me, through God's mercy, not for my instruction alone, for there is much that I cannot understand, but that I may communicate them, that they may revive what is now forgotten.
This duty has again been imposed upon me.
I have explained this fact, as well as I could, but no one will take the trouble even to listen to me.
I must keep it to myself and forget much of it.
I hope God will send me what is necessary. "
The following communication shows that it was with the shield of faith that Sister Emmerich combated the tempter when he dared approach her in vision : —
"I endured such pain in my wounds that I was forced to scream.
I could hardly bear it.
The blood flowed in a jerking way toward them. Suddenly Satan stood before me as an angel of light, and said：'Shall I pierce thy wounds ?
In the morning all will be well.
They will never again give thee pain, thou wilt never suffer more from them. ' —
But I recognized him at once, and said :
' Begone! I want nothing from thee ! — Thou didst not make my wounds ! I shall have nothing to do with thee.'
Then he withdrew and squatted like a dog behind the cup-board.
After a while he came out and said: 'Do not think thyself so well off with Jesus, because thou dost imagine that thou art always running around with Him. It all comes from me !
I show thee all those pictures. I, also, have a kingdom!' —
I chased him again by my reply.
After a long time, he came again and said boldly:' Why torment thyself with doubts ?
All that thou hast, all that thou seest, is from me. Things are in a bad state, I have thee.
What need of worrying thyself?'
Again I cried : 'Begone ! I will belong only to Jesus, I will love Him and curse thee ! I shall endure such pains as He wills me to suffer!'
— My anguish was so great that I called my confessor.
He blessed me and the fiend fled.
But this morning, as I was saying my Credo, he again appeared and said : ' What use is the Credo to thee?
Thou dost not understand a word of it; but I will teach thee all things clearly — then shalt thou both see and know.'
I replied : 'I want not to know I want to believe. '
Then he recited a passage from Holy Scripture; but there was one word in it which he could not pronounce, and I said again and again：'Say that word, say it distinctly, if thou canst!' I trembled in every limb, and, at last, he disappeared ''
When I see the Communion of Saints in the light of vision, their actions and their love, their interpenetrating one another, how each is in and for the others, how each is all and still one in unending brilliancy of light, I feel unspeakable joy and lightsomeness.
Then I see far and near the dark figures of living beings, I am drawn to them by irresistible love, I am urged so sweetly, so lovingly, to pray for them, to beg God and the saints to help them that my heart beats with love.
I feel, I see more clearly than day that we all live in communion with the saints, that we are in constant relation with them.
Then I grieve over men's blindness and obduracy.
I cry out confidently to the Saviour :
"Thou art all-powerful, Thou art all love ! Thou canst do all things ! Suffer them not to be lost ! Think of Thy Precious Blood !' — Then I see how He labors for them so touchingly.
'Only see,' He says, 'How near I am to help them, to heal them, and how rudely they repulse Me!'
— And then I feel that His justice is full of sweetness and love.
"My guide often takes me in spirit through all sorts of human miseries: sometimes to prisoners, sometimes to the dying, to the sick, the poor, to the homes of sin and discord.
I see bad priests, I see bad prayers, the profanation of the Sacraments, and of holy things.
I see disdained by miserable creatures, the graces, the helps, the consolations, the eternal nourishment of the Most Holy Sacrament that the Lord offers them.
I see them turning away, driving the Lord violently from them.
I see all the saints in a sweet, loving readiness to help them ; but lost to them are the graces poured upon them from the treasure of Christ's merits confided to the Church.
That afflicts me.
I gather up all these lost graces into my heart and thank Jesus for them, saying : 'Ah! pity Thy blind, miserable creatures ! they know not what they do ! Ah ! look not at their offences, keep these graces for poor, blind sinners!
Lord, give them at another time that they may be helped by them.
Ah! let not Thy Precious Blood be lost to them !' — The Lord often hears my prayer, and to my great consolation, I see Him again bestowing His graces.
"When I pray in general for the most needy, I usually make the Way of the Cross at Coesfeld, and at each station I pray for a different necessity.
Then I have all sorts of visions which show me in pictures right and left of the station, far off in the distance, the distress, the assistance given, and the places in which the scenes are enacted.
Today as I knelt at the First Station, I prayed for those who were going to confession before the feast, that God would grant them sincere repentance, and the grace to declare all.
Then I saw in various regions people praying in their homes or otherwise occupied, whilst thinking of the state of their conscience.
I saw their hearts, and I urged them not to fall again into the sleep of sin.
Then I saw those that would come to my confessor, and I was directed to say to him, but in general terms, how to treat this or that person.
"At the Second Station, I prayed for those whom poverty or misery deprived of sleep that God would give them hope and consolation.
And then I saw into many wretched huts in which the inmates tossed on their straw beds, thinking that morning would find them no better off than the evening had done, and I saw my prayer procuring them rest.
"At the Third Station, I prayed against strife and quarrels, and I saw in a cottage a man and wife very angry with each other.
I prayed for them ; they grew calm, mutually forgave, and joined hands.
"At the Fourth Station, I prayed for travellers that they might lay aside their worldly thoughts and go in spirit to Bethlehem to do homage to the dear Christ-Child.
I saw around me many journeying along with bundles on their shoulders, and one, in particular, more thoughtless than his fellows.
I prayed for him, and suddenly I saw him fall over a stone in his path.
He exclaimed : ' The devil put that stone there for me !' — But, recovering himself, he took off his hat and began to pray.
"At the Fifth Station, I prayed for prisoners who, in their misery, think not of the holy season and deprive themselves of its divine consolations.
Here, too, I was consoled. The rest has escaped my memory. . . ."
"As I lay one day thinking: 'In what a miserable state I am ! What a fate is mine ! Others can work and do good, whilst I lie here like a cripple,' I begged God to give me something that I could do.
Then I saw an inn in which some men were quarrelling.
I prayed with all my heart for them to cease their strife.
They became calm, and peace was restored.
I thought of poor, helpless travellers, and saw a sorrowful-looking man dragging along the road, not knowing where to turn for food or lodging.
I was filled with pity.
I prayed for him, when there rode up a horseman who, as he passed the poor man, asked whence he came and in what direction he was going.
The man mentioned the cities (but I forget the names).
The rider gave him some money and galloped on. The poor man stood in wonder gazing at the money, four whole thalers !
He could hardly realize his good fortune ; he exclaimed : ' How wonderful is God ! Had I reached the city, I should not have received this money.'
Then he began to think of all that he would do with it.
I can still see him.
My guide then took me to about twenty sick people whose ulcers I sucked.
When my guide calls me on such errands, I follow blindly. We pass through walls and doors to the sick, and he tells me what I have to do.
I see all distinctly and even if there be a crowd around the sick-bed, that does not hinder me, there is always room for me.
Whilst I assist the invalids, they seem to sleep or to be unconscious, but they get better. Last night I assisted several at Coesfield.
I know one of them, a little fellow twelve years old.
I shall make inquiries……"
"I give such assistance only in Christian countries.
In far-off infidel lands I float above the darkness, earnestly praying for the inhabitants to be enlightened.
I think that every one who prays from his heart for such unhappy creatures, earnestly desirous of helping them all he can, really gives such assistance "
" I have to heal spiritual maladies also.
My guide took me to a spiritual hospital full of sick, of every age and condition, men and women.
There were numbers whom I knew, others were strangers. I had no help excepting my guide, who blessed the water that I carried in a little kettle.
I had relics also, but I only used them in secret.
All the inmates were sick in soul through sin and their passions, their maladies appearing exteriorly in the body.
The degree of sin was indicated by their greater or less poverty, especially shown forth in their beds.
The poorest lay on the ground on straw, others in beds, either clean or filthy, which bespoke their good or bad surroundings ; some were lying on the bare ground, whilst others were sitting up, etc.
I spoke not to them, nor they to me ; but when I bandaged their wounds or sucked their sores, sprinkled them with the blessed water or secretly touched them with the relics, they were relieved or cured.
They who had sinned through sloth, had sore or lame hands ; they who were given to theft and such like practices, had convulsions, cramps in their limbs, and ulcers.
Secret evils had their seat in internal ulcers, which had to be dissolved by poultices, or drawn out by blisters.
Some were not quite right in their mind from having tormented themselves with useless researches.
I beheld them staggering around and suddenly striking their heads against something, which brought them to their senses.
I had to attend to many, natives and foreigners, also to Protestants.
There was a girl who was suffering from obstinacy.
Hard and livid welts ran through her whole body like veins; they looked like the red strokes of a lash.
I cured her with holy water.
I also raised the dead.
They were in a third place and differed from the others in this that they lay quite patient, but utterly incapable of helping themselves.
"Toward the close of my task, I was assisted by some maidens, and then I was brought home by my guide, who gravely reproved me for thinking myself useless ; for, he said, I had done a great deal. God makes use of every one in a different way "
"Again I was taken to a large military hospital.
It seemed as if it were under a shed— but where, I know not.
Some of the inmates were Germans, and there were others who looked like prisoners who had been brought thither in wagons.
Many of the drivers were in rags and wore gray smock-frocks.
Some of the sick seemed to be a little elevated in the air: they had moral evils represented, as in the other hospital, by corporal sickness.
I went all around relieving, curing, putting on bandages, making lint.
At last I came to some who had bodily wounds ; they were not suspended in the air, they lay on the ground.
The wounds of the morally sick were the most offensive, for their source is in the depths of the heart ; exteriorly they do not seem so hideous, though they are really far more horrible.
Bodily wounds are not so deep, they have a more healthful odor ; but they who do not understand such things think them the more frightful.
I gave all I had, I cut up my bed-clothes, used all my white linen, and Abbe Lambert's too ; but the more I gave away the more need there was.
I never had enough.
Many good people brought me things.
There was a room full of officers, and for them something better was necessary.
There lay my enemies, and I rejoiced that I could do them good.
There was one whom I could not relieve. He wanted a physician according to his own ideas and such could not be found. His state was fearful.
Later I had other patients, my own acquaintances, peasants, citizens, ecclesiastics, and also N. N.
后来我有了其他病人，我自己的熟人，农民，公民，神职，还有 N. N.先生。
I had been commissioned a long time before to tell him something ; his state grew daily worse. He sought honors and neglected souls.
"'It was given me to see all whom I had cured by sucking their sores, both really and spiritually.
My Spouse told me again that such spiritual assistance is real assistance, that I do it in spirit only because I am now not capable of doing it corporally.
" When I worked as a child in the fields, or as a religious in the garden, I used to feel myself urged to beg God to do for men what I could do only for the plants.
I often have a clear idea of the mutual relations and resemblances between creatures which, like emblems, can explain one another; so also in prayer and communion with God one can do really in desire and affection what he could not do actually on account of external hindrances.
As a portrait can make me know the original, so can I exercise charity, render services, bestow care upon the picture or image of the object for whom I can do nothing personally and directly.
If I do it in Jesus and for Jesus, He transmits it to the person for whom I do it by virtue of His merits ; therefore, the merciful God grants to my earnest prayers and longing to assist my neighbor those lively pictures in which I supplicate for the welfare of this or that person. . . .
"I have also been shown how unspeakably good it is in God to give such visions, to accept the labor done in them as a full and perfect work and to reckon it as an increase in the treasury of the Church; but, that it may profit the Church, it must be done in union with the merits of Christ.
The needy members of the Church can receive help only from the Church herself.
The healing power must be awakened in the Church as in a body, and here it is that the co-opera-tion of her members comes in ; but this is more easily felt than expressed.
"It used to seem strange to me to have to travel so far every night and engage in all sorts of affairs.
I used to think: 'When I am on a journey, when I help others in spirit, all seems so real, so natural ! And yet, all the time, I am lying sick and miserable at home!'
Then I was told :
'All that a person earnestly desires to do and suffer for Jesus Christ, for His Church, and for the neighbor, he really and truly does in prayer. Now thou canst understand!'"
These last communications throw light upon Sister Emmerich's action in spirit, or in the symbolical pictures shown her in vision.
It is action by prayer accompanied by suffering and sacrifice, and applied by God to determinate ends.
It is always heard, and its fruits applied to him for whom it is offered through the instrumentality of him who suffers and impetrates.
Such prayer is infinitely more efficacious than any other, it is certain of success ; it gathers, so to say, fruit already ripe. It is a prayer active, expiatory, and propitiatory in and through Jesus Christ.
Sister Emmerich was like to a tree by the side of running waters, upon whose boughs daily hung fresh fruits for the needy ; she was like the nursing mother supplying nourishment to multitudes of spiritual children.
She often tried to explain in what such prayer consists.
The Pilgrim's journal records, July 7, 1820:—
［“朝圣者”，即笔录艾曼丽修女神视的作者 Clemens Brentano 克莱孟•布伦塔诺；而该书《真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示The Life and Revelations of Anne Catherine Emmerich》的作者是Rev. K. E. Schmoger 史莫格神父］
"She has suffered intensely for days.
Last night she was steeped in perspiration and the wound in her side bled abundantly.
She wanted to change her linen herself, so she took a few drops of St, Walburga's oil which gave her the strength necessary for so painful an effort.
She looks like a martyr today.
She acknowledges that her pains were so great last night that she cried aloud to God to help her, not to let her suffer beyond her strength.
'These pains,'she said, 'are my greatest torment, for I cannot bear them in silence, I must groan ; and then I always think that, as I have not borne them lovingly, they have not been pleasing to God.
It was as if fire had been applied to my person which sent fine currents of pain through my breast, my arms, and my hands.'
As she spoke the tears flowed down her cheeks, not so much from her own sufferings, as from those of her Saviour which she constantly contemplated.
'No human intelligence can comprehend what Jesus endured from His birth to His death, even if it were seen as I see it.
His infinite love is manifest in His Passion which He bore like a lamb without a murmur.
I was conceived in sin, a miserable sinner, and life has ever been a burden to me from the pain sin causes me ; but how much more must the incomprehensible perfection of Jesus suffer, insulted on all sides, tormented to death ?
Last night in the midst of my own pains, I saw again all that He endured from His conception till His death. I saw, also, His interior sufferings, I felt their nature, so intelligible did His grace render them to me.
I am so weak, I shall only say what comes to my mind.
I saw the Infant increasing in size and all the torments of the Crucifixion accomplished in Him.
It was a frightfully sad spectacle ! I wept and sobbed aloud.
I saw Him struck, pushed, beaten, crowned with thorns, laid on the cross, and nailed to it, His side pierced.
I saw the whole Passion of Christ in the Child.
It was fearful ! As the Child hung on the cross, He said to me :'I suffered all this from My conception till My thirty-fourth year, when it was accomplished exteriorly.'
(The Lord died at the age of thirty-three years and three months).
'Go, announce this to men!'— But how can I announce it?"
I saw Him, also, as a new-born Babe, and I saw how many children abuse the Infant Jesus in His crib.
The Blessed Virgin was not there to protect Him.
The children brought all kinds of whips and rods, and struck His face until it bled.
He tried gently to parry the blows with His little hands, but even the youngest children beat Him cruelly, their parents trimming and preparing the rods for some of them.
They used thorns, nettles, scourges, switches of all kinds, each had its own signification.
One came with a fine switch like a corn-stalk, which broke when he tried to strike with it.
I knew many of these children.
Some strutted about in fine clothes which I took away from them.
I corrected them soundly.
"Then I saw the Lord walking with His disciples.
He was thinking of all He had endured even in His Mother's womb, of all that men had made Him suffer in His infancy and His public life by their blindness and obduracy ; but, above all, He thought of what He had undergone from the malice, the envious spying of the Pharisees. He spoke to His disciples of His Passion, but they understood Him not.
I saw His interior sufferings like colors and heavy black shadows passing over His grave, sad countenance, through to His breast, and thence to His Heart which they tore to pieces.
This sight is inexpressible ! I saw Him grow pale, His whole being agonized, for the sufferings of His soul were far sharper than those of His Crucifixion ; but He bore them silently, lovingly, patiently.
After this I beheld Him at the Last Supper, and saw His infinite grief at Judas's wickedness. He would willingly have undergone still greater torments could He have kept Judas from betraying Him.
His Mother, also, had loved Judas, had often spoken with him, had instructed and advised him.
The fall of Judas grieved Jesus more than all the rest.
I saw Him washing his feet sorrowfully and lovingly, and looking at him affectionately whilst presenting to him the morsel.
Tears stood in the Lord's eyes and His teeth were clenched in pain.
I saw Judas approach.
I saw Jesus give him His flesh and blood to eat and I heard Him say with infinite sorrow :
'That which thou dost, do quickly.'
Then I saw Judas slink behind and soon after quit the supper-room.
I saw all the sufferings of the Lord's soul under the form of clouds, colored rays, and flashes of light.
I saw Him going to Mt. Olivet with His disciples.
He ceased not to weep on the way, His tears flowing in torrents.
I saw Peter so bold and self-confident that he thought himself able to crush all his enemies.
That distressed Jesus, for He knew that Peter would deny Him.
I saw Him leave His disciples, excepting the three whom He loved most, in a kind of open shed near the garden of Olives.
He told them to sleep there. He wept all the time.
Then He went further into the garden leaving behind the Apostles who thought themselves so valiant.
I saw that they soon fell asleep.
I saw the Saviour overwhelmed with sorrow, and sweating blood, and I saw an angel presenting Him the chalice ……"
"Evening. — She still shudders and trembles with pain ; but she is all patience and love, sweetness and gentleness.
There is something noble about her in -the midst of her pains."
August 30th — "She has been racked by inexpressible sufferings.
8月30日 —— 「艾曼丽修女遭受了难以言喻的痛苦。
It was shown her that each has a special signification according to which some particular members are tormented, also that every kind of pain, piercing, tearing, or burning has its own meaning.
She knows that each one patiently borne in the name of Jesus, in union with His Passion, becomes a sacrifice for the sins and negligences for which it was imposed.
She thereby regains for the Church that of which man's perversity deprives her."