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真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示(胡文浩 紫微蕾塔小德兰译 王保禄 杨开勇校阅)列表
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·000.真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示
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·真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示下卷
·真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示下卷
·下卷第一章01 教会的属灵工作和苦
·下卷第一章02 知道他人的想法
·下卷第一章03 纠正和抗争朝圣者在
·下卷第二章01 艾曼丽修女在婚房里
·下卷第二章02 教会礼仪年的结束
·下卷第二章03 耶稣去世的真正周年
·下卷第三章01 因他人对至圣圣事的
·下卷第三章02 因他人对至圣圣事的
·下卷第三章03 因他人对至圣圣事的
·下卷第三章04 因他人对至圣圣事的
·下卷第四章01 炼狱中的灵魂 — 
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·下卷第四章02 为两个君主的劳作
「我的民因无知识而灭亡。你弃掉知识,我也必弃掉你,使你不再给我作祭司。」
030.真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示第26章 从复活节到圣神降临节
030.真福艾曼丽修女的生命与启示第26章 从复活节到圣神降临节
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CHAPTER XXVI.

From Easter to Pentecost, 1813.

第二十六章

从复活节到圣神降临节,1813 年。

After the Vicar-General's third visit, Dean Rensing had commissioned Sister Emmerich to pray for a certain intention which he did not designate. On May 2d, he found her greatly consoled by an apparition of Mary and the Infant Jesus the preceding night. She said :  “I invoked Mary for the intention prescribed ; but I have not been heard. I prayed for it three times. I said to Mary :  ‘I must pray for it, because it has been given to me in obedience ;' but I received no answer, and I was so full of joy on seeing the Infant Jesus that I forgot to ask again. I still hope, however, to be heard. I do not pray for myself. I am so often heard when I pray for others, but for myself never, excepting when I ask for sufferings."

在总主教第三次访问之后,伦辛院长委托艾曼丽修女为某个他没有指定的意祈祷。 5 月 2 日,他发现前一天晚上艾曼丽看到圣母玛利亚和圣婴耶稣的显现了,这使她深受安慰。 她说:「我为委托的意求助于圣母玛利亚; 但我(的請求)没被俯听。 我为它祈祷了三遍。 我对圣母说:『我必须为它祈祷,因为我愿听命伦辛院长,为他给我的这意向而祈祷; 』但我没有得到任何答复,由于看到婴儿耶稣(显现给我)时我非常喜乐,以至于忘记再求问一次。 然而,我仍然希望我的祈求被俯听。 我不为自己祈祷。 当我为别人祈祷时,我的祈求经常被俯听,但为我自己祈祷,我的祈求从来没有被俯听,除非我祈求受苦难。 」

Without knowing it, she had this time prayed for herself, Dean Rensing's intention being that the investigation might be speedily concluded. Everyone connected with it had almost a greater desire for it than the poor sufferer herself. She often had to tranquillize those from whom she should have received comfort and support. But the suspicions cast upon the good old Abbe Lambert afflicted her more sensibly than her own pains ( 1 ). Father Limberg, her confessor, had known her too short a time to be exposed to unjust remarks ; yet he knew the exact state of her soul and, in spite of his naturally distrustful disposition, he doubted not the truth of her stigmata.

不知不觉中,艾曼丽这一次为自己祈祷了,伦辛院长的本意是希望调查能早日结束。 每个与调查有关的人对结束调查的渴望几乎比可怜的患者本人还要强烈。艾曼丽经常不得不安抚那些本应该安慰和支持她的人。 但是人们对善良的老神父兰伯特的怀疑比她自己的痛苦更显著地折磨她(1)。 林伯格神父,她的告解神父,认识她的时间太短,不会受到不公正言论的对待;然而告解神父知道她灵魂的确切状态,尽管他生性不信任,但他从不怀疑艾曼丽圣伤的真实性。

He was a very timid man and easily disconcerted. He trembled in the presence of an illustrious personage such as the Vicar-General; consequently, it is not surprising that he frequantly drew upon himself the reproach “of imprudence.” Had it been in his power or that of the Abbe Lambert, the wounds would have disappeared as soon as produced, particularly as such a result would have been most conformable to Sister Emmerich's own desires. Both he and the Abbe regarded them as an unavoidable misfortune to be borne as best it could. They utterly rejected the idea that it was the work of God, a distinction granted to few, and the ecclesiastical inquiry with the publicity attending it was annoying in the extreme. All this combined to make the poor sufferer dread losing patience if not soon allowed to return to that life of seclusion and recollection to which she had been accustomed. It was this hope that led her to accede so willingly to Dean Rensing's proposal of a medical surveillance of eight days, and the same hope of freeing herself from further annoyance made her look forward to it with ever-increasing desire.

林伯格告解神父是一个非常胆小的人,很容易感到不安。他在总主教这样的显赫人物面前会颤抖;因此,他经常责备自己轻率也就不足为奇了。要是他或兰伯特神父有控制伤口的能力,让伤口一产生就消失那就好了,尤其是这样的结果最符合艾曼丽修女自己的愿望。他和兰伯特神父都认为五伤印記是一种不可避免的不幸,需要尽可能地承受。他们完全反对这种观点,即这是天主的作为,这是少数人能享有的圣伤的荣誉,并且在公众关注下的教会调查是极端烦人的。如果不让艾曼丽尽快回到她已经习惯的隐居和默想的生活,所有这一切加在一起,将使这可怜的患者失去耐心。也正是这份希望,让艾曼丽如此欣然接受了伦辛院长提出的为期八天的医学观察的提议,同样的希望让她可以摆脱进一步的调查,也让她越发期待这八天的医学观察早日来临。

 (1) Dr. Wesener's Journal, Jan. 26, 1815:— "I was bandaging to-day, in Sister Em-merich's room, an ulcer on the arm of Mrs. Roter's little boy, a child of ten years. The Abbe Lambert, who was present, was so overcome at the sight that he turned his eyes away and began to moan over the little fellow. I expressed my surprise to Sister Emmerich at the old priest's extreme sensibility. She replied : “You see now what he Is ! tender-hearted as a child. And yet they say he made my wounds "

(1) 韦塞纳医生的日记,1815 年 1 月 26 日:「今天,我在艾曼丽修女的房间里包扎罗特太太的小男孩的手臂上的溃疡,他是一个十岁的孩子。在场的兰伯特神父被这景象吓坏了,他把眼睛移开,开始为这小家伙哀叹。我对艾曼丽修女说我对老神父的极端敏感而惊讶。她回答说:「你现在认识他了。是!像个孩子一样心地善良。然而他们卻说是他伪造出我的伤口! 」

May 9th, Dean Overberg came for the fourth time to Dulmen on the part of the Vicar-General.

“I went over what she had before recounted to me,” he says, “to assure myself that I had understood and noted it down correctly. She gave me to understand that this examination into her past life not a little increased her sufferings ; for it might be thought that she was something, but she herself knew better. I found her cheerful, although she had suffered much the night before and her wounds had bled profusely. “

5 月 9 日,奥弗伯格院长以总主教的名义第四次来到杜尔门。他说,「我仔细回顾了艾曼丽之前向我讲述的内容,以确保我已经理解并准确记录下来。她让我明白,对她过去生活的这种审查,让她的痛苦增加了不少; 因为人们可能会认为她是某种人,但她自己更清楚。 我发现她很高兴,尽管她前一天晚上受了很多苦,伤口流了很多血。 」

On the second day of his visit, Dean Overberg writes : — “Sister Emmerich was again very prostrate this morning and her sister informed me that she had passed an agonizing night, often starting from sleep in dread of a new examination. She shed tears through her fear of yielding to impatience if not allowed a little rest, and complained that the investigation had almost entirely deprived her of recollection. I was not able, nor did I desire to converse long with her as she was so weak ; however, she again confirmed her former statements to me. She was a little better in the afternoon. She insists upon the eight days' surveillance by physicians and other responsible persons, that her annoyances may come to an end."

在他访问的第二天,奥弗伯格院长写道:「今天早上,艾曼丽修女再次非常虚弱,她的妹妹告诉我,她度过了一个痛苦的夜晚,常常因为害怕新的检查而从睡梦中醒来。 她害怕如果不让她再有些许休息,她就会失去忍耐,她流下了眼泪,并抱怨调查几乎完全剥夺了她的默想。 我不能,也不想和她交谈太久,因为她太虚弱了; 然而,她再次向我确认了她以前的陈述。 下午她稍微好点了。 她坚持了医生和其他负责人进行八天的监视,这样她的烦恼就可以结束了。 」

Dean Overberg, Dean Rensing, and Dr. Wesener united with Sister Emmerich in asking for the surveillance. “She told me with tears, “ writes Dr. Wesener, " how ardently she sighs for peace. ‘Ah ! ' she said, ' I am willing to do anything to serve my neighbor. I would allow myself to be cut to pieces and put together again to save one soul ; but I cannot exhibit myself as a spectacle to the curious. I think if they watch me for eight days, they will be satisfied about me. It is not for my own sake that I want the truth to be known, but for that of my friends, that they may not on my account be wrongfully accused.’"

奥弗伯格院长、伦辛院长和韦塞纳医生与艾曼丽修女联合要求进行医学观察。 「她泪流满面地告诉我, 」韦塞纳医生写道,「她多么渴望平安啊。她说,『啊!我愿意为我的近人做任何事。我愿意让自己一切骨节都支离破碎, 重新拼凑起来拯救一个灵魂;但我不能把自己展示给好奇的人看。我想如果让他们观察我八天,他们就会对我感到满意。我愿意把真相让人知道并不是为我自己,乃是为我的朋友,免得他们因我而被冤枉。』 

After Dean Overberg's departure, Dr. von Druffel came to Diilmen. Of his visit he writes : " Nothing new discloses itself. The impression produced on me by the invalid is the same. The state of her wounds, the mark in her side, and the cross on her breast presented no change."

Dean Overberg promised on leaving to gain the Vicar-General's consent to the proposed surveillance and to interest himself in its prompt execution. He succeeded in the first part of his mission, but failed in the second, as we may glean from his communication to Dean Rensing : —

奥弗伯格院长离开后,冯德鲁菲尔医生来到杜尔门。 在他的访问中,他写道:「没有什么新鲜事可以透露。病人给我的印象是一样的。她的伤口情况,她肋旁的伤痕,她胸前的十字架印痕都没有改变。 」 奥弗伯格院长承诺离开是为了获得总主教对提议的医学观察的同意,并让他立即执行这项医学观察计划。 他在任务的第一部分成功了,但在第二部分失败了,我们可以从他与伦辛院长的通信中了解到:

 “’Man proposes and God disposes !’ Behold a fresh proof ! We cannot find suitable persons to guard our dear Sister Emmerich. The physicians will not be free before the Pentecost holidays, on account of the lectures, and they are desirous that she be removed as soon as possible to a more convenient lodging. Be so good as to console her on the news of this delay, as distasteful to us as to her, and remember me to her." A few days after this letter, there arrived for her bed a leather covering which the good Dean had had made, and with it the following lines : “Dr. Krauthausen told me that our poor sufferer ought to have a leather cover on her mattress, as it is cool and prevents bedsores. I looked for something of the kind and I have been so fortunate as to find one of chamois. I waited several days for an opportunity to send it ; but as none presented itself, I express it today that she may have it as soon as possible. Have the kindness to see that it is placed on her bed."

「『谋事在人,成事在天! 』 看,这是一个新的证据! 我们找不到合适的人来保护我们亲爱的艾曼丽修女。 由于讲习会,医生们在圣神降临节假期之前不会有空,他们希望艾曼丽尽快被转移到更方便的住所。这个如此安慰她的消息延迟了,让我们和她都很不愉快,代我向她问好。 」这封信几天后,在她的床上铺了一张好院长制作的皮质床罩 ,并附有以下几行:「克劳特豪森医生告诉我,我们可怜的病人应该在床垫上放一个皮床罩,因为它很凉爽,可以防止褥疮。我寻找这类东西,我很幸运的找到了一只麂皮。我等了好几天才有机会寄出它;但不知何时能收到,我寄望今天她能收到并尽快使用它。劳驾您亲自监督将床罩铺在她的床上 。 」

The delay of the surveillance was more grievous to Sister Emmerich than anything she had hitherto endured. She read therein the withering assurance that her hopes were vain, that there was no probability of her ever being able to hide from the public gaze, and escape the manifold annoyances of her present position. She had dared to count on the Feast of the Ascension as the day on which she would recover the only earthly goods she craved, peace and solitude — but now, alas ! her expectations were blighted. The Abbe Lambert often heard her sighing : “I am the Lord's instrument ! I know not what is in store for me, I only long for rest ! " She could not hide from herself the fact that this longed-for rest would never more be hers on earth. Almighty God exacted of her this great sacrifice and she made it unreservedly, but at the cost of complete prostration and great increase of pain.

对艾曼丽修女来说,医学观察的延迟比她迄今为止所忍受的任何事情都更加痛苦。她在其中读到了一种令人沮丧的保证,即她的希望是徒劳的,她不可能躲避公众的目光,摆脱她目前处境的各种烦恼。她曾大胆指望耶稣升天节那天可以恢复她唯一尘世的渴望–平靜与孤独的日子。但现在,唉!她的期望落空了。兰伯特神父经常听到她的叹息:「我是主的工具!我不知道等待着我的是什么,我只渴望休息! 」 她无法掩饰在世上安息的渴望永不再有的事实。全能的天主要求她做出如此巨大的牺牲,她毫无保留地做到了,但代价是完全的死于自我和极大的痛苦。

Dean Rensing's notes. May 17th — " She complained of having had the night before pains so acute that she was forced to beg God to lessen them. She was heard, and strength was given her to suffer patiently. She added : 'Then I said the Te Deum laudamus all through. I had begun it several times but had never been able to finish on account of my pain.' The next night she suffered still more. She said to Dean Rensing : — ' I have often begged God for pain and suffering, but now I am tempted to say : " Lord, enough ! no more, no more ! " The pain in my head was so violent that I feared I should lose patience. At daybreak, I laid on it the particle of the True Cross which Dean Overberg had given me and I begged God to help me. I was instantly relieved. Still greater than my bodily pains are those of my soul, dryness, bitterness, and anguish ; but I have twice been restored to peace and sweet consolation after receiving Holy Communion. ‘ "

伦辛院长的笔记。 5 月 17 日「她抱怨前一天晚上疼痛如此剧烈,以至于她不得不乞求天主减轻它们。她被俯听了,并给了她耐心忍受痛苦的力量。她补充道:『然后我在心里一直说赞美天主。我已经开始了好几次,但由于我的痛苦而从未能够完成。 』 第二天晚上,她更加痛苦。她对伦辛院长说:『我经常祈求天主赐予我痛苦和苦难,但现在我很想说:“主啊,够了!不要了,别再有了! ” 我头上的痛是如此剧烈,以至于我担心我会失去耐心。天亮时,我将奥弗伯格院长给我的“真十字架”的微小质粒放在上面,恳求天主帮助我。我立即舒缓了些。 比我身体上的痛苦更大的是我灵魂的干枯、苦涩和痛苦;但我在两次领圣体后,恢复了平静和甘饴的安慰。 』 」

As her interior was so little understood by those around her, no attention was paid to her mental sufferings, and they often complained before her of her vain expectations. This made her feel more keenly her want of spiritual assistance, and she fell into such a state of anguish that she seemed to lose all strength and fortitude. On May 19th, Dean Rensing found her so prostrate and dejected that he had not the courage to address her. When he returned in the evening, he saw that the cross on her breast had been bleeding profusely ; her garments were saturated with blood. Strength had returned sufficiently for her to tell him that the evil one, taking advantage of her helplessness, had troubled her with frightful apparitions on the preceding night: —

由于周围的人对艾曼丽的内心知之甚少,所以没有人注意到她精神上的痛苦,经常在她面前抱怨她的虚妄期望。这让她更加敏锐地感觉到自己需要属灵的帮助,她陷入了一种痛苦的境地,好像她将要失去所有的力量和毅力。 5 月 19 日,伦辛院长发现她如此沮丧和忧闷,以至于没有勇气对她说话。伦辛院长晚上回来的时候,发现她胸前的十字架(圣伤)已经流血了。她的衣服沾满了鲜血。力量已经恢复到足以让她告诉伦辛院长,邪恶者利用她的无助,在前一天晚上用可怕的幻影来困扰她:

" I endured an agony. My sister was sound asleep, the lamp was burning, and I was lying awake in bed, when I heard a slight noise in the room. I looked and saw a hideous figure covered with filthy rags slowly approaching. It stood at the foot of my bed. It drew aside the curtain, and I saw it was a frightful-looking woman with an enormously large head. The longer she looked at me, the more horrible she grew. Then she leaned over me, opening her huge mouth as if to swallow me. At first I was calm, but soon I became greatly alarmed and began to invoke the holy names of Jesus and Mary, when the horrible apparition disappeared."

「我忍着痛苦,妹妹睡得很熟,灯还亮着,我躺在床上醒着,突然听到房间里有轻微的响动。我一看,只见一个浑身脏兮兮的破烂不堪的身影缓缓走来。站在我的床脚。它拉开窗帘,我看到这是一个可怕的女人,头很大。她看我的时间越长,她就越可怕。然后她靠在我身上,打开她的大嘴好像要吞下我。起初我很平静,但很快我变得非常惊慌并开始祈求耶稣和玛利亚的圣名,那时可怕的幻影消失了。 」

Father Limberg delivered her at last from her state of desolation. He reproved her a little sharply for complaining, telling her she must calmly await a decision and meditate more attentively on the words: " Lord, may Thy will be done!" Dr. Wesener, who was present at this little scene, made a note of it as follows: — “Sister Emmerich instantly submitted with the best grace in the world, and no more complaints were heard. Father Limberg told me that he thought it his duty to speak to her a little severely, as he knew from experience that the least imperfection was highly prejudicial to her."

林伯格神父终于将艾曼丽从凄凉的状态中救了出来。 他有些严厉地责备了艾曼丽的抱怨,告诉她必须冷静地等待一个决定,更用心地默想这句话:「主啊,愿祢的旨意成就!」 在场的韦塞纳医生记下这段话:「艾曼丽修女立刻以世上最好的恩宠来顺服了,没有再听到抱怨。林伯格神父告诉我,他认为对艾曼丽说话有点严厉是他的职责,因为他从经验中知道,即便是最小的不完美对艾曼丽来说都是非常有害的。 」

Dean Rensing's journal of the following day runs thus: —  “I asked her if she had had a vision or apparition the preceding night. 'No,’ she answered,  ’I was too much afflicted for having been impatient and discontented on account of so many annoyances. I ought to be like clay in the potter's hand, no self-will, no complaints, patiently receiving whatever God sends. That is hard for me, because I still think more of my own peace than of God's will, which tries me; but He knows what is best for me.' In the same way she accused herself before Dr. Wesener of her impatience. ‘My attempt to disabuse her of this idea,’ he remarked, ' was without effect.' "

伦辛院长第二天的日记是这样写的:「我问她前一天晚上是否有神视或显现。她回答说,『不,因为这么多的烦恼,我变得不耐烦和不满,我太痛苦了。我应该像陶工手中的泥土,没有任性,没有抱怨,耐心地接受天主所赐的一切。这对我来说很难,因为我仍然更多地思虑自己的平安,而不是思虑天主考验我的旨意;但天主知道什么为我最好。以同样的方式,艾曼丽在韦塞纳医生面前责备自己不耐烦。『我试图打消她这个念头, 』他评论道,『但没有效果。 』 』

God rewarded her humble obedience by sending her fresh consolation. On May 21st, Dean Rensing found her exhausted from suffering and loss of blood. Her wounds had bled so copiously that her head dress and chemise were stiff; but she had tasted great consolation in the midst of her pains, and particularly after Holy Communion.

天主通过给她新的安慰来奖励她谦卑的服从。 5 月 21 日,伦辛院长发现艾曼丽因痛苦和失血而精疲力竭。她的伤口流血过多,以至于她的头饰和衬衣都因凝固的血液而僵硬了。 但在痛苦中,尤其是在领圣体之后,她尝到了极大的安慰。

"One thing gave me great joy,” she said. "After Holy Communion, I saw two angels holding a beautiful garland of white roses with long sharp thorns which pricked me when I tried to detach a rose. ‘O that these thorns were not here !’— I thought. And then came the answer : ‘ If you want to have roses, you must suffer the pricks of the thorns.' I shall have to endure much before I attain to joy unmingled with pain."

「有一件事让我非常高兴, 」艾曼丽说,「领圣体后,我看到两个天使拿着一个美丽的白玫瑰花环,上面有长长的尖刺,当我试图摘下玫瑰时,它刺痛了我。我想, 『哦,这些荆棘不该在这里! 』 然后得到了答案:『如果你想要玫瑰,你必须忍受荆棘的刺痛。 』 我应该必须先忍受很多痛苦,才能获得沒有痛苦的欢乐。 」

A short time after she had a similar vision : " I was taken into a beautiful garden in which I beheld roses of extraordinary size and beauty, but their thorns were so long and sharp that one could not pluck a rose without being scratched by them. ‘I don't like that, ‘I said. My angel replied : ‘He who will not suffer shall not enjoy !' “Joys without suffering were also shown her, but she was given to understand that they were to be hers only at death :

不久之后,艾曼丽也有了类似的神视:「我被带进了一个美丽的花园,在那里我看到了巨大而美丽的玫瑰,但它们的刺又长又尖,以至于人们摘下来的玫瑰沒有不被它们刮伤。我说,『我不喜欢那样, 』我的天使回答说:『不愿受苦的人就不能享受! 』 」天使也向艾曼丽展示了没有痛苦的欢乐,但她明白只有在死亡时这些玫瑰才会属于她:

" I saw myself lying in the tomb, and no words can express my joy. It seemed as if I were told at the same time that I should have much to suffer before my death, but that I must abandon myself to God and remain firm. Then I saw Mary with the Child, and it was unspeakable joy for me when that good Mother placed Him in my arms. When I gave Him back, I asked Mary for three gifts which would render me pleasing to her and her Son : charity, humility, and patience."

「我看到自己躺在坟墓里,我的喜悦无法用言语表达。仿佛同时被告知,我在死之前应该受很多苦,但我必须舍弃自己将自己交给天主并坚定的持守。然后我看到了抱着圣婴的玛利亚,当慈爱的母亲把圣婴放在我怀里时,我感到无比的喜悦。当我把祂还给圣母玛利亚时,我向圣母玛利亚要了三件礼物,这会让我取悦于她和她的圣子:爱心、谦逊和忍耐。 」

Her fortitude began to increase from that day, and on May 26th, eve of the Ascension, she said to the Dean : " O how I should love to go to heaven with the dear Saviour ! but my time has not yet come. My sufferings increase, I must still be tried, purified more and more. God's will be done ! May He grant me the grace to persevere to the end in patience and abandonment to His good pleasure ! "

从那天起,艾曼丽的毅力开始增强,在 5 月 26 日,也就是耶稣升天节前夕,她对院长说:「哦,我多么喜爱和亲爱的救主一起去天堂!但我的时间还没有到来。我的痛苦还在增加,我仍然要更多的承受和净化。愿上主的旨意承行!愿祂赐予我恩宠在忍耐中坚持到底并为祂的美意舍弃我自己!

On the Feast of the Ascension when she received Holy Communion, she heard these words : — " Wouldst thou rather die than suffer longer " to which she answered : " I will still suffer longer, O Lord, if such be Thy good pleasure." She added, when repeating this incident to Dean Rensing : ” My desire is fulfilled, but in the sense that I now suffer more intensely than before."

在耶稣升天节那天,当艾曼丽领受圣体时,她听到这些话:「你宁愿死也不愿受苦更久吗? 」她回答说:「主啊,如果这是祢的喜悦,我愿承受更长时间的苦。  」当向院长伦辛重述这件事时,她补充说:「我的愿望得到了满足,但从这意义上说,我现在承受比以前更多的痛苦。 」

Dr. Wesener declares how numerous and varied were her pains and how much they were increased by all around her. On May 25th, he writes : " I found her this evening very restless and quite beside herself with pain. Her back is covered with sores. Her sister had bathed it with brandy, and she had fainted from pain. She writhed on her bed, moaning : ‘Why did you do that ? I am willing to suffer, but you ought not to do such things thoughtlessly.' Her face was inflamed, her eyes full of tears, and her pulse had not varied ; but when Father Limberg ordered her to be quiet, she lay still instantly and said no more."

韦塞纳医生宣称艾曼丽有很多种不同疼痛,以及她周围的人使这些痛苦增加了很多。 5 月 25 日,他写道:「今晚我发现她很烦躁,很痛苦。她的背上布满了疮。她的妹妹用白兰地(酒)清洗它们,使她痛得晕了过去。她在床上扭来扭去,呻吟道:『你为什么要那样做? 我愿意受苦,但你不应该轻率地做这种事。 』她满脸发炎红肿,眼里满是泪水,脉搏没有变化;但是当林伯格神父命令她安静时,她立即安靜躺下,不再说话。 」

Soon again she had to undergo a similar, though much greater torment: il I found," says Dr. Wesener, " her sister by her bedside with a plate of salad swimming in vinegar-sauce. I asked if the patient had tasted it, and was told that she had taken a little of the sauce and a piece of cheese. She lay in a stupor and quite unconscious.

I soon discovered the cause. Her sister had wanted to bathe her back again with brandy ; and, as the invalid refused, she had left the vessel of liquor by the bed. Its fumes stupefied her and when that stupid, self-willed sister of hers presented the food, she had not the strength to resist. She fell into a pitiable state of nausea, convulsive vomiting, and choking. I feared she would strangle. It was not until nine o'clock that evening that she threw off the food and got some relief. She regretted having taken it, though at the time she knew not what she was doing."

很快,她又不得不经历类似的折磨,但要痛苦得多:「我发现,」韦塞纳医生说,「她的妹妹在她床边,手里拿着一盘醋汁沙拉。我问病人是否尝过,她告诉我病人吃了一点酱汁和一块奶酪。她麻木安静地躺着,昏迷不醒。我很快就发现了原因。她妹妹想再用白兰地(酒)给她清洗;而且,由于病人拒绝,她把盛酒的容器留在了床边。酒的气味让她神志不清,当她那个愚蠢、任性的妹妹端上食物时,她没有力气反抗。她陷入了恶心、痉挛性呕吐和窒息的可怜状态。我怕她会被这症状扼杀了。直到那天晚上九点多,她才把食物呕吐出来,这才松了口气。她后悔吃了那食物,尽管当时她不知道自己在做什么。 」

Experience like the above did not, however, disabuse Sister Emmerich's friends nor prevent their ill-advised efforts to relieve her. They still had recourse to brandy as a remedy. Some years after, Mr. Clement Brentano had an opportunity of testing this fact. " I often saw Sister Emmerich, "he says, " reduced to a frightful state by the absurd mania for bathing her bed-sores with brandy. She groaned at the thought of such an operation and refused to submit to it, for the mere smell of the abominable stuff was sufficient to deprive her of consciousness ; but she had not the strength to resist. The use of brandy as a curative is a fixed idea among the lower classes of Minister, and poor Sister Emmerich was forced to endure it. Ah ! the poor thing was

often treated more like an inanimate object than a human being !"

然而,上述类似的经历并没有让艾曼丽修女的朋友们失望,也没有阻止他们为缓解她的痛苦而做出不明智的努力。他们仍然求助于白兰地(酒)作为补救措施。若干年后,克莱门特.布伦塔诺先生有机会作证这一事实。「我经常看到艾曼丽修女, 」他说,「因为人们荒谬地热衷于用白兰地(酒)清洗她的褥疮,而使她陷入可怕的境地。她一想到这样的手术就呻吟起来,拒绝服从,因为仅仅是这可恶东西的气味,足以剥夺她的意识,但她没有抵抗的力量。使用白兰地(酒)作为治疗是明斯特下层人民的固定观念,可怜的艾曼丽修女被迫忍受。啊 !可怜的情况往往是人们对待一个人像是对待一个无生命的物体! 」

One of the chief reasons that awoke Sister Emmerich's longing for a retired life was the crowd of visitors that now began to press around her bed of pain. The disorder it caused afflicted her less than the mental sufferings resulting from it. “She complains," says Dr. Wesener, “of so many visitors. They annoy her exceedingly. She has also other sufferings that she cannot indicate."

唤醒艾曼丽修女对退隐生活渴望的主要原因之一,是一大群访客开始挤在她痛苦的床边。这情况造成的紊乱对她的影响比由此造成的精神痛苦要小。「她抱怨, 」韦塞纳医生说,「这么多来访者。他们让她非常恼火。她还有其它她无法表达的痛苦。 」

What these sufferings were, we may judge from -the past. They sprang from her gift of reading hearts and her keen sense of the moral state of her neighbor. She saw with grief the sins of those who visited her ; their passions, the intentions that actuated them pierced her like arrows. This truly terrible gift had been one of her greatest sufferings. But now that she lay unprotected, as it were, on the public highway, for the ecclesiastical prohibitions were daily losing force, it was her greatest torment. She was overwhelmed by crowds of the curious, who gazed upon her and her priestly guardians with injurious suspicions and haughty contempt. Of what grace, then, had she not need to insure her against despair, when before her arose the certitude : " It will ever be thus till the hour of my death !"

这些苦难是什么,我们可以从过去来判断。它们源于她识透人心的天赋和她对邻居道德状态的敏锐感觉。她悲痛地看到那些探望她的人的罪恶;他们的情欲,驱使他们的意图像箭一样刺穿她。这个真正可怕的礼物是她最大的痛苦之一。但现在她毫无保护地躺在床上,任由访客观看,因为教会的禁令每天都在失去力量,这是她最大的折磨。她被一群好奇的人淹没了,他们用有害的怀疑和傲慢的蔑视注视着她和她的神父导师。看到这些人,她感到极大的忧苦,她心里出现这样一个确信:「直到我死的时候,我都将永远无法摆脱这痛苦!


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